Monthly Archives: September 2008

Southern Maryland – Land of the Crazies?

On Friday night, I was in Maryland visiting College Roomie and we were at her favorite bar in town.  We were sitting at the bar, deep in conversation about our boy drama when Guy Without a Clue walks up, stands behind us and turns out this gem:  “Hi.. so, I’m going to hit on you both right now because you’re both attractive.. equally attractive and I like you both…”

Cue the crickets.

“Um.. well… that’s.. an..interesting.. approach.”  I finally spit out trying not to laugh.  I mean that is just one of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever heard.  And it was really too early in the night for him to be so drunk he thought that would be a good approach. 

So he just stands there.. apparently, he thought SAYING he was going to hit on us, covered the actually hitting on us part.  Now CR and I are not ones to straight up be bitches to guys who talk to us.  I mean, a couple girls I’m friends with have zero tolerance for being hit on.  They will try to ignore them for a minute and then they go into full on bitch mode.  One night after a guy had worn out his welcome Cubie laid down the law and said, “OK! Here’s what’s going to happen.  I’m staying here with my girls and YOU are going to go back over there with your little friend.  OK?”  I kid you not, the guy looked at her and then looked back at me and my other friend and finally says, “Ok.  I’m gonna listen to you… but ONLY because you’re just so hot.”  He smiled and walked back to his friend.

But back to Friday night.  So he is just standing behind us, saying.. nothing.  So finally we get back to our conversation, thinking OK, he’ll get the point.  Next thing I know he manages to wiggle his way between me and CR.. I mean, literally fits himself between our bar stools.  He attempts to do some flirty butt dancing manuveur on me which is making me fall over the barstool but he does NOT stop.  He doesn’t even stop when I’m yelling that I’m about to face plant on the floor.  I would have fallen off if the 50 year old man on the other side of me was not there to hold me up… If I was in Jersey, whoever was next to me probably would have let me fall on my face.

So now, I am annoyed.  He then proceeds to ask for a kiss on the cheek.  “Um, no.. you almost sent me flying onto the floor, I’m not giving you a kiss.”  So he starts doing the butt thing that almost sends me flying off the stool.  I start yelling for him to stop and then he tells me it’s either a kiss on the cheek or else he’s not stopping.  Now, I am really flippin annoyed.  He says “FINE! I was going to hit on YOU because I think you’re pretty but NOW I’m gonna hit on your friend.” Aw, shucks..

So he’s trying to talk to CR but she is running out of patience,

CR: “Excuse me, but my friend came all the way from NJ to see me and we’re trying to catch up.” 

He scoots away from her a tad and sits in his chair.  I go back to telling the story about Bestest and her b/f breaking up. 

When GWaC leans onto CR and slurs, “OHHH, I know what she’s talkin about.” 

CR: “What? No you don’t? Get back in your seat!” 

GWaC: “Yes, she’s talking about the guy she’s rooting for.” 

CR: “What?  The guy she’s rooting for in life or in the football game?” 

GWaC: “In life.  Yea, she wanted him to get a touchdown but it was intercepted.” 

CR: “Wait, your just repeating what’s happening on the TV.  I thought she was rooting for the guy she wanted in LIFE.” 

GWaC: “She is.” 

Me: “Wait, so how was my touchdown intercepted?!” 

GWaC: “Ugh, it just was.. you like this guy but it was intecepted. ” 

Me: “What?”

GWaC: “YOU LIKE THIS GUY BUT..” 

Me: “Huh?” 

GWaC: “IT WAS INTERCEPTED!” 

Me: “Wait, what?”  

Cue CR hysterically laughing and then whispering “OMG, you’re just trying to piss him off now aren’t you?!”  And now we’re both laughing, the kind of giggling that you just cannot stop. So GWaC is pissed and hating his life.  You would THINK that he would leave us alone now right? Yes, you would think. He doesn’t. It takes the bartenders help and a few other new friends we made to form a barracade between us and GWaC.  

But my favorite line of the night goes to CR’s favorite bartender:

CR:  “Hey so how was last night?”
Fave Bartender: “Good.. took a couple bong hits, went out for a little, went home and crashed…”
CR shakes head in disapproval.
Fave Bartenader looks at me: “She hates when I talk about taking bong hits… but I think it’s just because she wants the peen.”

Advertisements

15 Comments

Filed under Boys are Dumb, I love my friends, This is my life

Sharing the Love, TV Talk & Other Randomosity

The other day, the very sweet and fabulous Brookem, gave me my very first blog award!  Her blog is one of my absolute favorites so if you haven’t checked it out yet then you better get over there stat! (especially if you love a sexy man with a good head of hair)

So, here’s the award and the rules:

1. The winner can put the logo on his/her blog.
2. Link to the person you received your award from.
3. Nominate at least 7 other blogs for an award.
4. Put links to those blogs on yours.
5. Leave a message on the blogs for the people you’ve nominated.

So, now it is my turn to share the love… but the problem is that I simply love too many blogs!  (sidenote: I totally need to set up one of those Google Reader things or something but I tried and I don’t get it!  helpppp!)  Anywayss, bottom line is I have way more than just 7 favorite blogs but rules are silly rules and I only get to pick seven.  And here they are:

KKT8’s Weblog

A Lil Irish Lass

Me Being Random

It’s like I’m… mmmagic

Long Red Cape

The Virginity Monologues

A Divorce Story

Each of these lovely ladies has really reached me with their writing and I’m very happy to pass along this award to them.  So, please check them out! 🙂

*     *     *     *     *

And in other news, I could talk about how I was a crazy ball of emotions yesterday or how I am doing a horrific job of quitting The Ex cold turkey but I’d rather talk about happier things.  Happier things, such as Thursday night – when The Office AND Grey’s come back.  WEEEEEEEE ::happy dance:: … okay, I’m done. 

Well, Helllo Jim! Hello McDreamy! and McSteamy! and McGeorge!  So good to have all my boyfriends back.

I have to confess… as a Grey’s fan I have slightly faultered.  I have not watched religiously for a couple seasons now.  At one point, there was pretty much nothing that could keep me from missing an episode.  It was just that good and I can tell you exactly when with two words (names, whatev):  Denny Duquette.  It’s kind of been downhill ever since they killed him off, no?  And it pains me to even mention the lowest of low, the almost death of Meredith aka a reason to bring Denny back.. oh lord, that was just weird.  But still, I love the show and I’m hoping for the best this season.  Plus, no matter where they go with the stories, I mean, there’s always Patrick Dempsey (and his gorgeous HOH, Brookem) to look at!

And The Office, well it is just my new favorite show.  I have spent weeks watching the DVD’s and catching up.  I have no idea how I didn’t start watching this show sooner…. halt, actually that is a lie.  See the previous paragraph.. I was too busy watching Grey’s to watch The Office.  But now, TiVo has entered my life. 

Oh, but seriously, where is my Jim?  That’s all I have to say.

And lastly, I also wanted to share this article:  The Nine Types of Guys to Get Over .. I found it really amusing because I know most of those guys and well, okay, maybe I have even dated one or two.

9 Comments

Filed under Blogs I Heart, Life as a Couch Potato, Random Thoughts

I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends

Why I adore my College Roomie (who lives too darn far from me!):

*     *     *     *     *     *

College Roomie: (on trying to break things off with a guy she had been casually dating for 2 months) He totally flipped shit on me last night!  He said he didn’t understand how I could do this to him… that I just put on a sweet girl act.  And THEN he called me a golddigger!  A freakin golddigger!! He doesn’t even HAVE any money.  The only money he has is from mowing lawns.. how could I possibly be a golddigger?!

… AND THEN the next morning he texted me and said that he really needed help getting though this.  That he really needed to talk to me again to help him get through this “break up.”  We seriously went on SIX dates.. SIX DATES!!

*     *     *     *     *     *

Little:  Would you judge me if I tried online dating?

CR: (slightly awkward pause) um.. no.  I know a lot of people who have done it actually.

Little:  Well, see the thing with online dating is that there is a hugeee window of opportunity for AWKWARD, DISASTEROUS DATES.  I bet I’d have to go through a lot of duds to find one nice one.

CR:  Hey! Maybe you’ll meet some crazies of your own!

Little:  Actually, I hate to break this to you buttt I kinda play for the other team.  I think I AM one of the crazies.

CR: hahhaha

Little:  Okay really, I’m only CRAZY with The Ex.  Okay, well I mean, I know I threw shoes at M for lying to me (side note: I was extremely intoxicated).  But I didn’t even care about him.. I wasn’t really throwing the shoes at HIM, it was more..

CR: … more like you were throwing shoes at the whole of all men.

Little: Exactly!  I was throwing shoes at ALL the lying bastards I’ve ever known.

*    *     *     *     *     * 

Little:  So I decided I’m sick and tired of dating jerks.  Really… I just want to date a nice boy.  And in my defense, M really did put on a nice guy act at first soooo it’s not like I KNEW he was a jerk.

CR:  Oh yes, that’s right.. I remember he did seem really nice at first.  However i ALSOOO remember, you weren’t even interested in him when he was nice.  You became interested once he started acting like a jerk.

Little: … well, shit.

*     *     *     *     *     *

So, I might just be single forever but at least I have friends who can make me laugh.  Speaking of College Roomie, I’m going down to Maryland to see her this weekend for her birthday and I’m so excited! 

So, other than talking to CR, I spent most of the weekend consoling my Bestest because on Friday night her and her boyfriend of 2.5 years broke up.  Honestly, it is a blessing in disguise.  He is simply not good enough for her.  She poured her heart and soul into that relationship.  She did everything for him, was so supportive and in my opinion she did not get the same in return.  And now, he is walking away because he has too many issues to be in a relationship right now.  Poor Bestest wants to get back together with him so badly but I’m hoping this time apart will help her realize she deserves better.  Obviously, I understand what it feels like to want to be with someone who is wrong for you but when you are in it, you can’t see that.  It sucks to see someone you love hurting. 

Anyone have any good ideas for helping friends get through breakups?

6 Comments

Filed under I love my friends, Relationships

Insanity: Doing the Same Thing Over and Over, Expecting Different Results

“So… I have a confession to make…” I admited to Molly as we sat on her couches, mid Office marathon.  “…I was suppose to hang out with The Ex last night.. but I ended up cancelling.”

“Oh god.. what were you suppose to do?”

“It’s probably gonna make you nauseous but we were suppose to go to the beach, drink wine, yada yada… Remember we had that planned a year ago and never made it?  Well… okay, really, it all started on Saturday night…”  I gave her a quick rundown of Saturday-Monday’s events.

“Oh good girl for cancelling! But what made you change your mind?”

“You know, honestly, I just woke up on Wednesday and thought to myself… I can’t go.  I can’t do this.  Nothing has changed, he hasn’t grown up and we still want different things.  Why am I going to put myself through this again?  I can’t start going backwards.. I can’t go back to how things were.  I didn’t even give him an excuse.  I simply said, ‘I don’t think we should hang out.  I want to but I can’t.’ And I mean… it’s not like we were even going to be hanging out as friends.  Clearly, this was a date.. and he wanted it to be romantic and really, I kept asking myself, ‘What’s the point?'”

“Ah, yes!  I’m so happy you realized that.”

“I mean, it wasn’t easy… I was actually pretty upset about it.  Even though I knew I made the right decision..”

“Yea.. it’s like your a smoker, okay?  And it’s like you went and bought the pack of cigarettes, picked them up, realized they were no good for you and decided to throw them out.  That’s not easy… I’m really proud of you!”

“haha.. I love the analogy Mol..”

“Ya like that right?  But seriously… next time don’t even bother wasting your money buying the pack.”

*     *     *    *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     * 

So… there you have it. 

I couldn’t go through with the date.  Something about writing the previous post… Seeing the story staring back at me, made me wake up on Wednesday morning with a slightly clearer head.  I don’t even know where the strength came from but suddenly, I knew that I could not go.  I actually got all teary eyed in my cube when I cancelled.  Becaue I really did want to go… I really did want to see him but I knew I couldn’t.  I knew that in the end I would end up regretting it.  And out of nowhere, to my great surprise, my head ended up winning after all. 

I can tell you exactly how it would have gone if I went.  We would have had a great night.  We would have had so much fun together, making each other laugh, cuddling, kissing and never running out of things to talk about.  I would have had butterflies and put those rose colored glasses back on. I would have been that much more attached again.  I’m sure that this would have probably led to hanging out again… and then again.  I’m sure that before I knew it we’d be dating again but I’m also damn sure, all the same issues would still be there

In high school, I had a school counselor I used to talk to.  He had a poster hung on his wall that read “Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results.”  I couldn’t help but think of that quote yesterday.  I mean, clearly, I’m acting insane because I keep expecting different results with The Ex even though nothing truly has changed.  I do love being around him but he can’t give me what I want.  He can’t fully commit to me and I really would be settling if I started seeing him again.  I deserve more that that.

Molly always called him my “bad habit” “my addiction.”  In a way, she’s right.  I am addicted to the situation, to the rollercoaster ride of it all.  We’re up and then we’re down.  We’re fighting and the next minute we’re laughing.  One second I’m on cloud nine and the next, I’m crying.  One second I love him, the next I hate him.

But it’s toxic this addiction.. and now I’m trying to kick it, cold turkey.

8 Comments

Filed under Over Analyzing, Relationships, single life, The Ex

My Heart’s Greatest Weakness

It was Sunday night when an all too familiar feeling of disappointment swept over me.  I had almost forgotten this feeling.  You know when you can actually physically feel your heart hurt?  That’s what it feels like when he disappoints me.  And all the sudden the questions were back:

“Why doesn’t he care?  Why doesn’t he miss me?  Why doesn’t want to see me?  Why did he ever say those things if they weren’t true?!”

I was curled up in bed when the tears came.  I was not hysterical… the tears just needed to escape for a minute.

I had asked him to let me know if he could make it to the party on Saturday.  He said if he didn’t have to work he would definitely go.  I believed him… because he said he missed me and he said he really wanted to see me and you know what?  I WANTED to believe those things were true. 

But he did not go.  He did not call.  He just did nothing.  And worst of all, he seemed to think that was okay.

In my wine induced state of drunkenness on Saturday night, I had sent an angry text or two – I can never hold back when it comes to him.  Then later on, I had sent a couple more taking back half of what I had said… yea, basically I took the express train to Crazytown.  Thankfully his phone was dead and the next day, he was unphased by my crazy behavior:

“What happened?” He asked.

“I was just really bothered by the fact that you didn’t come last night and you didn’t even let me know like you said you would.  I am sorry for acting crazy last night… I just really don’t want to talk about it.”

“No problem… so did you have fun?”

“Yea, it was a good time.. What did you end up doing?”

“I just went to a party with Mark.”

“See, this is why I was upset.  You chose to go to a party with a guy you see everyday over seeing me.  I mean, it’s fine, at least I know the truth now.”

“Nooo.. come on, it’s not like that jerk.”

“Listen, it’s okay.  Obviously, you don’t miss me or want to see me becuase if you really did, you would have taken the opportunity to see me.”

“Really, it’s not like that.  I will take my next opportunity!”

“It’s really okay.  It’s better that I know the truth.”

“But it’s not the truth.  I do miss you.  I do want to see you.”

“I just wish you could understand how it looks/feels from my perspective.”

“I’m sorry sweetie..”

*     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *

I woke up on Monday in a bit of a mood.  My head was saying, “See! I told you soooo.  You should always listen to me, you silly girl.”  Frankly, my heart was too tired to argue.  “I’m done,” I thought.  “I’m done… I need to keep moving forward.”

And then he texted me.

“Hey you..”

I just stared at my phone.  I really didn’t expect to hear from him so soon.  Sometimes, I feel like guys have this radar that detects when a girl is ready to move on.  It’s almost like they can hear you thinking “I’m done” and they know they need to step up or they will lose you…

We make small talk for a couple minutes but I’m not myself.  I’m still hurt and I don’t really feel like joking around.

“I really want to take you out tomorrow night.  I want to go to the beach.”

It was about a year ago when we initially tried to go to the beach at night for a date.  It ended up raining that night and then it was too cold out to go.  When I saw him a couple months ago I had said that I was disappointed we never made it there.  He said we still could but I said no.

“I’m sure Mark would like to go with you.”

“No, I want it to be romantic.  I want to go with you.  How about I bring a blanket and some red wine… Will you go with me?”

I knew I should say no… I really knew it… but I could feel my head losing the battle.

“Well, tomorrow is no good for me anyways…” I reply.

“Okay so Wed?”

I don’t answer.

“Or Thursday? Come on, I’m trying!”

I don’t answer.

“I’m sorry about the other night… Please let me make it up to you…”

With every text he sent it was getting harder to say no.  I knew deep down that I really did want to go.  My head was losing out to my heart.  I felt like I couldn’t help it, my heart just had the stronger pull… and I guess I wasn’t really “done.” 

“Well, tomorrow is no good.. but… I guess Wed or Thurs could work.”

“Okay, Wednesday night… It’s a date. :)”

11 Comments

Filed under Boys are Dumb, My Crazy, Past loves, Relationships, The Ex

Because the Best Therapy is Retail

I feel like my thoughts are just all over the place lately.. and especially today.  I feel like I have so much I could write about yet I just can’t focus on one topic long enough to write about it.  I definitely have some boy drama going on but not anything worth talking about… or rather, I don’t feel like talking about it right now. 

So lets forget silly boys and can we talk shopping?  K thanks.

Top left is a BCBG dress that looks super cute on!  Dare I say… better than the model even?!  Wow, that may be the first and last time you ever here me say that.  But I got more in the boob area going on and I love blonde hair with dark colors because of the contrast.  I can’t wait to wear it! I’m thinking maybe black sheer tights.. red jewelry/shoes if I wear for Christmas..  yes, can’t wait!  And the jumper on the right is Candies and I originally tried it on to possibly wear for work but I think maybe it’s too short.  However, I loved how it looked on and in the winter w/ tights and mary jane type shoes, oh I think it’d be so cute. 🙂

I spent all day in the city yesterday with Cubie.  We went to lunch, shopped (of course) – hit up the 3 story Forever 21 and H & M (cute clothes for the broke girl).  The other shirt and vest are from Forever.

Totally had a near death experience yesterday.  Cubie insisted on crossing the street even though we were getting the hand, NOT the little walk man.  All the sudden a taxi comes flying out of nowhere and i swear if I had stepped forward one second sooner.. I would have been one squished Little Miss.  Actually, when I thought about what had happened a little later, I got kind of scared, I mean, that was cutting it a LITTLE too close for comfort.  However, this still finished second to my plane ride near death experience.  Well, Work Spouse doesn’t think that the plane experience should even be considered near death, HOWEVER, if I truly believed in my head that I was about to die then uh, I call that a near death experience.

Here’s what happened: Now, mind you, I fly quite frequently.. I went to college in SC and I live in NJ.  I went back and forth quite a bit.  I used to be a very nervous flying, jumping at every noise and shake.  But eventually, I got use to all the different noises of the plane.  It was May and I was flying home from my old roomate’s college graduation.  There were storms covering the whole east coast so it made for a very bumpy ride.  We FINALLY begin our decent into the Atlantic City area and the plane is just swirving back and forth.. back and forth.. back and forth – this feeling I have never felt before.  I go into panic mode. 

“This is not normal!” I thought.. “Omg, this is it.  We’re going to crash… omg, I’m going to die on Mother’s Day… My poor mother! Oh god, this is terrible.” 

I grab a hold of the arm rests and feel like I might have my very first panic attack.  I don’t know what else to do so I start taking deep deep breathes and close my eyes.  At this point, I don’t care if the person next to me thinks I’m a whackjob.  No one on the plane is talking, it is silent and eery.  I feel like the pilot does not have any control of the plane and we are just being take for a ride by the wind.  Just swaying back and forth, making my stomache do flip flops.  Finally, I look out the window and see we are getting really close to finally landing.  I start calming down but I know I won’t really relax until we touch down.  And we finally do.  I finally stop clenching the arm rests and my whole body starts shaking.  Everyone around me starts talking about how scary/nauseating the experience was. 

I mean, maybe I was never really in danger but still, in my mind- I thought I was a dead woman.  So clearly, it counts as a near death experience, right? 😉

1 Comment

Filed under My Crazy, Random Thoughts, Shopping is My Cardio

Go Gutsy

Hi lovey’s, it’s Friday night and here I am blogging lol oh, what a life!  I was exhausted from the week and just really wanted to relax.  So, I saw The Ex last night.  No, no, no the heart has NOT won out in the great Heart vs. Head battle.  He is managing a new restaurant and invited me and a couple friends to come in for dinner so we went.  He was working so nothing too interesting to share, except those damn butterflies made an appearance.  However, the more I think about it, the more convince I am that it is not worth it to start up anything with him again.  More on that later…

First I wanted to share this article that was the topic of conversation on the Z Morning Zoo the other day.  These are the Five Risks Every Gutsy Girl Should Take (they found this in the October issue of Cosmo):

1. FALL IN LOVE; REALLY SEIZE IT. THE GUY PROBABLY WON’T BE THE ONE. BUT THAT’S HOW YOU LEARN WHO YOU ARE.

It definitely take guts to open yourself up to another person and give in completely to love.  It’s always a risk… you are giving someone a precious thing- your heart and trusting they will not break it.  But it’s definitely a risk worth taking.  Love can hurt like hell but it can also be the best feeling in the world.

2. BE YOURSELF ESPECIALLY IN A RELATIONSHIP. WE STILL LIVE IN THE SEXIST WORLD WHERE WOMEN OFTEN TWIST THEMSELVES INTO WHAT THEY THINK A MAN WANTS IN ORDER TO HAVE HIM. PUT YOURSELF BEFORE PLEASING A GUY AND YOU’RE MORE LIKELY TO FIND THE GUY WHO’S RIGHT.

So freakin true.  I think its easy to get caught up in what we hope a situation is or what we WANT it to be.  Sometimes we change ourselves to try to make our fantasy become reality.  I believe, and this might just be the optimist in me that has been shining through lately, that when it’s true love there will be no twisting needed. 

3. MAKE A FIRM PLAN TO MOVE OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE. SAY I’LL WORK THIS ENTRY LEVEL JOB FOR TWO YEARS, AND THEN, NO MATTER WHAT, I’M MOVING ON.

It is so easy to get caught in a routine, to stay in something that is comfortable, safe.  Not just with jobs but with relationships too.  When I took my current entry level job, I knew that this was just my starting point.  I knew that this was not going to be my life career and I constantly reminded myself to not get so comfortable that I stay just because I’m scared to leave my comfort zone.  The longer I’m there, the more comfortable I get but this was a good reminder to maybe set a goal of when I’d like to move onto the next step.

4. TRY EVERYTHING YOU FIND INTERESTING, EVEN IF IT’S QUIRKY OR ODD. WHEN I WAS 20, I SIGNED UP FOR TAP DANCING CLASS AT CARNEGIE HALL. IT WAS FULL OF 12 YEAR OLDS BUT I’D ALWAYS WANTED THEM.

There’s many things that I have yet to try and sometimes I do ask myself, what am I waiting for?  Now is the time..

 5. DARE TO ASK, WHAT IS MY PURPOSE HERE? YOU MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO ANSWER IT, BUT YOU’LL LEARN A LOT IN THE PROCESS.

So, ever since I heard about this list, I have been thinking about what it means to be a Gutsy Girl.  I think wanting to go back to The Ex is a little bit of the easy solution to feeling lonely.  I think the gutsy thing to do is to be alone and learn to be happy with that.  Don’t get me wrong, I feel like there are still strong feelings left between The Ex and I but deep down, I KNOW that nothing has really changed and we will fail for the same reasons we failed before.  Sometimes, it takes guts to NOT just go with the easy solution.

Oh and P.S. I might possibly be at the same party as The Ex tomorrow night which hopefully he won’t attend because I’m pretty sure the alcohol would make my Gutsy Girl thinking go a littleeee fuzzy. 

 

** Now, don’t be shy.. tell me what YOU think makes a “Gutsy Girl” or share a story about when YOU were one! **

 

 

 

4 Comments

Filed under All Things Listy, Random Thoughts, The Ex