If You Never Try, You’ll Never Know Just What You’re Worth

So, I haven’t written in over a month.  You see, it’s not that I didnt’ have anything to write about.  I have many stories to tell from the summer; shoes were thrown, white water was conquered, boys were kissed.  Lots of thoughts to share, both silly and serious.  Plenty of topics I’ve obsessed over, yet I never wrote.  And yesterday, while I sat at my cube at work reading Hope Dies Last, I started thinking about what has kept me from writing.  And I realized exactly what it was…

I fear I can’t measure up to my favorite bloggers and the way they engage me in their stories and the way they can articulate their thoughts.  It’s funny that I’m insecure even though I only have two readers. (yea, I’m talking about you Nat and Monkey Girl.. thanks for reading!)

So I thought about it some more.  This is one of my major weaknesses – low self esteem/ insecurity.  I started thinking about how much this stops me from doing.  I want to write a book one day.  I have always had that dream since I was a little girl reading Nancy Drew and The Babysitter Club books.  I wanted to be an author.  And now, I feel like I could write a book but I don’t think it will be creative enough, or funny enough, or original enough.

My insecurity stops me from going after what I want.  I’m not too forward with guys because I’m scared to feel rejected.  I delay going back to school to become a counselor because I’m scared I will not be good at it.  I’m shy when I meet people because I’m scared they will not like me.

Then I realized that I will never get better at writing if I don’t start.  I will never get better at dating if I keep myself closed off because I’m scared of being rejected.  I will never get better at anything if I’m too scared of failing.  So it’s time to wake up and start writing, start dating, start living and stop being so damn insecure.

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5 Comments

Filed under About Blogging, Blogs I Heart, My Crazy Thoughts

5 responses to “If You Never Try, You’ll Never Know Just What You’re Worth

  1. cindydating

    Yes, keep writing!

    I just read everything you have written so far and I look forward to reading more. I think it is great that you are consciously pushing yourself out of your comfort zone(s) in order to grow. Not many people do that.

  2. Ditto what cindydating said. I NEVER read through people’s archives and I just ploughed through all of yours. Love it. Keep it coming!

  3. Berni Clarke

    Hey.. i have a couple of blogs like a tumblr and a blogger blog, but i might get a wordpress one since it seems nicer & well I never use the other blogs! I hope you email back, i’ve just read a couple of your posts and you seem really interesting, i know we have loads we could talk about! I share that sense of being insecure, i loved your post ‘If you never try you’ll never know just what your worth’, coz I’m shy, i used to be really confident coz as a kid you just don’t really care and think you can do anything (well you CAN do anything its just silly thoughts and insecurities that make you think you can’t when your older!)” My insecurity stops me from going after what I want.” like you said u wanted to be a writer i wanted to be either an actress or entertainer in the music/tv industry well its changed to tv/radio presenter now but still close… anyway, tonight i had such a great night, and its funny what abit of will power can do. I feel so proud coz I was much more confident and sociable, only because I really applied myself. I could have chosen to be a wallflower and regretted it but nope…but theres that niggling insecurity that I might have let on to a boy that i was interested and im a bit scared of rejection… therefore i searched ‘if you never try you’ll never know’ for inspiration n reassurance to feel better (on google) and stumbled across your blog! and I love this – “Then I realized that I will never get better at writing if I don’t start. I will never get better at dating if I keep myself closed off because I’m scared of being rejected.”
    lol i didnt mean this to be such an essay… ermmmmm….. i would say more but this is my first ever msg to you so i dont wanna ramble on! il wait to see if you reply! 🙂 From Berni (girls name haha)
    xxxxxxxxxx

  4. Philbert Atwendeza

    Don’t hold back on life. As you hold back on it. It will hold back on you.

  5. Laura

    hey, im from germany and casually found this entry- love it, especially the last paragraph.

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