I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends

Why I adore my College Roomie (who lives too darn far from me!):

*     *     *     *     *     *

College Roomie: (on trying to break things off with a guy she had been casually dating for 2 months) He totally flipped shit on me last night!  He said he didn’t understand how I could do this to him… that I just put on a sweet girl act.  And THEN he called me a golddigger!  A freakin golddigger!! He doesn’t even HAVE any money.  The only money he has is from mowing lawns.. how could I possibly be a golddigger?!

… AND THEN the next morning he texted me and said that he really needed help getting though this.  That he really needed to talk to me again to help him get through this “break up.”  We seriously went on SIX dates.. SIX DATES!!

*     *     *     *     *     *

Little:  Would you judge me if I tried online dating?

CR: (slightly awkward pause) um.. no.  I know a lot of people who have done it actually.

Little:  Well, see the thing with online dating is that there is a hugeee window of opportunity for AWKWARD, DISASTEROUS DATES.  I bet I’d have to go through a lot of duds to find one nice one.

CR:  Hey! Maybe you’ll meet some crazies of your own!

Little:  Actually, I hate to break this to you buttt I kinda play for the other team.  I think I AM one of the crazies.

CR: hahhaha

Little:  Okay really, I’m only CRAZY with The Ex.  Okay, well I mean, I know I threw shoes at M for lying to me (side note: I was extremely intoxicated).  But I didn’t even care about him.. I wasn’t really throwing the shoes at HIM, it was more..

CR: … more like you were throwing shoes at the whole of all men.

Little: Exactly!  I was throwing shoes at ALL the lying bastards I’ve ever known.

*    *     *     *     *     * 

Little:  So I decided I’m sick and tired of dating jerks.  Really… I just want to date a nice boy.  And in my defense, M really did put on a nice guy act at first soooo it’s not like I KNEW he was a jerk.

CR:  Oh yes, that’s right.. I remember he did seem really nice at first.  However i ALSOOO remember, you weren’t even interested in him when he was nice.  You became interested once he started acting like a jerk.

Little: … well, shit.

*     *     *     *     *     *

So, I might just be single forever but at least I have friends who can make me laugh.  Speaking of College Roomie, I’m going down to Maryland to see her this weekend for her birthday and I’m so excited! 

So, other than talking to CR, I spent most of the weekend consoling my Bestest because on Friday night her and her boyfriend of 2.5 years broke up.  Honestly, it is a blessing in disguise.  He is simply not good enough for her.  She poured her heart and soul into that relationship.  She did everything for him, was so supportive and in my opinion she did not get the same in return.  And now, he is walking away because he has too many issues to be in a relationship right now.  Poor Bestest wants to get back together with him so badly but I’m hoping this time apart will help her realize she deserves better.  Obviously, I understand what it feels like to want to be with someone who is wrong for you but when you are in it, you can’t see that.  It sucks to see someone you love hurting. 

Anyone have any good ideas for helping friends get through breakups?

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6 Comments

Filed under I love my friends, Relationships

6 responses to “I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends

  1. When my ex and I broke up my dear friend Ashley had me say over and over and over “I’m Janie Fucking Linn and I deserve better than this!” It definitely helped. Plus, I spent a whole week on nothing but pampering. Everyone deserves to spend some time doing exactly what they love…ice cream, trashy celeb gossip, expensive manicures, whatever….

    I know what it’s like to want something that’s bad for you. Good luck to both of you. Be strong!!!! It won’t be easy, but it’ll be worth it. This is an OPPORTUNITY.

  2. Wow I need someone like that in my life! that would be a great sounding board to put me in my place 🙂

  3. Breakups sucks. There is no easy way through it — for you or your friend. I too am going through the breakup of a lengthy and emotionally serious relationship. All I can say is that she needs your support. I think the best way to be a supportive friend is to listen to her and encourage her to talk about it. Talk about how the breakup and the relationship made/makes her feel — over and over if she has to. The more she is able to talk to you without judgement or comments the easier it will be for her to realize that life moves on.

    Once she is able to leave the house and converse in public without bursting into tears, you should make sure that girl is kept busy.

    Good luck!

  4. longredcape

    I am loving the shoe-throwing metaphor!

    Men. Love. Life. Sigh.

  5. laylou

    There is only one thing I’ve found that helps a friend get through a break-up: just be there for them at any time of day, no matter what. Just let her talk, no input from you other than hugs and telling her she’ll be okay. My experience: friends will get over someone when they finally realize that the person is NOT good for them. This will take time. They may want to go back to that person for texts, calls, and etc. Let them. It will help her figure it out. And she will get there. It will just take time, lots of boxes of tissues, your support, and eventually she’ll be ready to go out and flirt with some guys.

    And as to online dating, it gives great blog material. Check out some of my older material… I’ve been there, done that. And I wouldn’t trade the experiences that I’ve gained!

  6. Pingback: My Life in Snippets « Little Miss Obsessive

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