I know it’s been pretty heavy around my blog the last week so I think it’s time to lighten the mood and catch up on Halloween and the stuff I didn’t get a chance to write about. First of all, my company is crazy and they made us dress up for Halloween on Thurs instead of Friday – that makes SO much sense, right? Cubie and I were dressing up as 80’s chicks and we were excited about it so we still dressed up although I was disappointed not to be dressing up on Halloween. As I walked out of the house at 8am on THURSDAY, the day BEFORE Halloween, all my neighbors were outside waiting for their little kiddies to get on the bus. I’m SURE I didn’t look crazy or anything!
Cubie really makes me look like a lil midge but I’m actally 5’4″ lol. And I was totally rockin a half side pony teased – it was hot. 😉
And here is how my pumpkin came out.. (okay, obviously I cheated and used a pattern – next year I will try to do it on my own! This was the first pumpkin I’ve ever carved!)
Another random note, I’m totally on board the Twilight bandwagon. I love and I mean LOVE the books so far (currently on New Moon). I just really love the connection between Bella and Edward… sigh, love.
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Which reminds me… I never even got to mention that The Ex (If your new you can find some of the latest here, here and here) was going to be on the cruise I was going on. It’s probably for the best I didn’t have to spend a week with him on vacation (the same way we met). Actually, the last day or two I have been thinking about him. I just really want to move on completely from him and I feel like the hold he’s had on me is beginning to slip. It feels so good. Somehow, I’ve stopped thinking the what if’s:
What if he could just commit? What if he would just grow up? What if he wanted to be in a relationship, would things work out?
I’m sick of these questions and I realized, I don’t want to ask them anymore. I feel like for the first time I really can see him and the situation clearly and I don’t know what has kept me hanging on for so long. Sure we had a strong connection, we had so much fun together.. we were always laughing (when we weren’t fighting) and I love him as a person but I want more for me. There are fundamental things about him that will never change – unless HE decides he wants them too. He’s not motivated, he’s selfish and he’s not very thoughtful. And you know what those are some pretty BIG things. So I’m finally at this point where I can learn from the situation and keep moving forward, and you know what? It feels pretty damn good.