My Life in Snippets

Another typical convo with CR.. in case you forgot, on occasion she likes to call me on my shit:

Me: “So this guy from the online site is suppose to call me tonight and I’m so nervous.  You know me, I’m not really a phone person!  It take so much energy.  Besides, I’m not a talker… I’m more of a listener…”

CR: haaaaaaaaaaaahahhaha”

Me: “What!?  I’m.. a listener..”

CR: “Okk LMO.. your not a talker.. whatever you say…”

Me:  “I don’t talk that much.. I mean…”

CR: “K”

Me: “Fine! Maybe with my best friends I talk a lot but not with strangers..”

CR: “Alright.. I guess I’ll give you that.”

*     *     *     *     *

Driving home from my friend, Banana’s house this weekend.  I’m in the middle lane on the turnpike, minding my own business.  I see a cop creeping around so I make sure not to go too fast… next thing I know I see the lights go on and I’m being pulled over.  What the fuck.

“License, registration and insurance ‘mam.”  I was already getting my things together.  “You’re not allowed to talk on your cell phone while driving anymore ‘mam.”  Yes, he kept calling me ‘mam.. I kind of hated it.

“Whaaaa? Yes, yes I know that… but I wasn’t on the phone!”

“I saw you with your hand to your ear…”  Apparently, driving with your elbow resting on the window and hand against your cheek is now breaking the law?

“Maybe I was playing with my hair!  I swear to God I wasn’t on the phone!!”

“Mam, I saw you…”

Oh and to make the situation even better I was charging my phone at the time so it was right there on the seat.  I did the only thing I could think of which was:

“I swearrrrrrrrrrrrrrr to you I wasn’t on the phone!! I’m sorry but I wasn’t… I SWEAR TO GOD.. I AM NOT LYING TO YOU!”

Clearly, he was not buying it at all.

“Please, look at my calls.. I haven’t had a single call today I don’t think!”

He picks up my phone… looks at my calls, looks at his watch…

“Well, either your smart and deleted it somehow or…. you weren’t on your phone.”

“I’m not lying I swear.. I’m a bad liar.”

He let me go.

*     *     *     *     *

As usual, Banana I attracted a real winner at the bar on Saturday night.  The first time he walked by us he started seranading us with whatever dance song was playing and then kept on walking.

Then next time he passed by, he stared at us and showed us his dance moves then continued walking.  Apparently, that was suppose to seduce us?

I think he was getting braver as the night went on.  The next time, he came up between us and slung an arm around each of our shoulders.. “helloo ladies” in a slurred voice.  Immediately I shoot a look to Banana that says why is this creeper touching us.  Unfortunately or well maybe fortunately, he noticed.  “Oh, excuseeeeeeeeeeee meeeeeee.. do you not want to talk to me? Whatever.”  and he walked away.  I would feel bad except I don’t like having my personal space invaded like that.

Hi, this is my life.

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8 Comments

Filed under Boys are Dumb, I love my friends, single life, This is my life

8 responses to “My Life in Snippets

  1. so you got out of the ticket then?

    and come on, inquiring minds…
    how did the phone call go with online guy?

  2. That’s pretty awesome you got out of your ticket!
    They are working on the no cell phone will driving thing here in Missouri as well.
    Well, I don’t know you very well but I would say you are a talker to friends/gal pals but I know what you mean about the phone thing! 🙂

  3. The hands-free cell phone thing? I noticed people in LA did what the law said… for about two months. Now, every time I turn around, I see some guy yakking away with his cell pressed to his ear while driving. Bravo to you for proving to the cop that you weren’t lying!

  4. longredcape

    A cop tried to give me a ticket for seat belt violation once. I am obsessive about my seat belt–I don’t feel right without it. I have the habit of ALWAYS putting it on when I get in the car. EVERY. TIME.

    I was NOT having that. No way was he gonna give me a ticket for not wearing a seat belt, when I TOTALLY was. We just kept going back and forth until I finally won. Either that, or he got tired of listening to me yammering about always wearing my seat belt.

  5. I want to know how the phone call went too! I’m horribly awkward on the phone and I have a phone date tonight 😦

  6. Krys

    I love your titles, I love your tags, and I love your stories.

    It’s always good to have a reality check friend like CR. My reality check is my favorite/most hated friend! hehe!!

  7. mebeingrandom

    Lovin the ticket story!

  8. Pingback: Boys on the Brain « Little Miss Obsessive

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