When I went out to LA a few weeks ago, my friends and I stayed with our gay guy friend, let’s name him Best Gay. So, of course staying in West Hollywood with Best Gay we have to designate at least one night to the gay bars. But first, let’s talk about what happened at the gay bars last year… this is one of those stories I feel like would only happen to me.
We were at a little gay bar in WeHo and upstairs they had beer pong set up (my kinda place). I spot this really cute, blonde, surfer guy – total OC Cali boy playing beer pong. I was mid thought of how hot he was and how I should flash a smile his way when I snapped back to reality and realize I am in fact in a gay bar. So we are there for a few minutes when I walk by the pong table and Cali Boy steps in front of me to say hi.
He’s starts making small talk and I’m not thinking anything of it because, well, I’m in a freaking gay bar, why would this boy be hitting on me? Until…
“So, yea… I was just playing beer pong and I guess it reminded me of being in college. Next thing I know I saw a cute girl and really wanted to hit on you.”
“Oh.. umm.. I thought.. umm”
“Well, I was in a frat at college and they all thought I was 100% straight. I guess the peer pong reminded me of that and the next thing I know I saw you and wanted to hit on you.”
“Oh.. wow..” ::insert lots of giggles here because I didn’t know what to do::
“Ok, I’m about to go all Dr. Phil on you. My best guys friends growing up turned out to be gay so I felt pressure from them to be gay. I’m suppose to go meet them now at this crazy gay club down the street. They all don’t understand why I don’t get a boyfriend already. I did the guy thing for like two years and now, I don’t know. I feel like it’s not what I want but then I won’t really fit in with them…”
Seriously, I have some magical force that attracts only the most CONFUSED guys (well, I’m pretty sure this was the only sexually confused guy… but in general all the guys who go after me are a ball of confusion about life)
So anyways, he proceeds to go on with his life story which was all pretty interesting. Meanwhile Best Gay is trying desperately to flag me down and find out if this kid is gay or not. I just kept saying “I’ll tell ya later!”
Anyways, eventually we both moved on to other bars and that was that. The night that a hot blond Cali Bi Guy hit on me at the gay bar and proceeded to tell me his life story.
* * * * *
And the gay boy love continued this year. We went to this crazy gay club where the go go boys wore little shorts and walked around on stilts, if that helps paint a picture of this place. So me and Banana, decide we are tired of standing and sit our butts right on the subwoofer, which put us pretty much right in front of where a whole bunch of guys were dancing.
So one guy decides the subwoofer should be used as a stage. I kept referring to him as the GoGo Boy Wannabe. Anyways, so I moved down a little so he could dance but I was not getting off that speaker, the vibrations felt nice (as we told the boys) and it was a place to sit heh.
So anyways, during one of his dance breaks he asks me and Banana, “Did you girls come from the Britney (Spears) concert!?!?!”
“Ohh no, we didn’t.. haha”
“Oh, well you LOOK like you did! I went last night and tonight!” and shows us his bracelets from the show.
Before we could say another word our little GoGo was dancing again… with a drink in his hand. I was wearing a dress and when GoGo got a little too crazy with the dance moves he spilt his drink on my leg. So what’s a gay boy to do?
He screams “I’m so sorry!” And before I knew what was happening he was licking up the drink off by leg. I start screaming and then he gives my leg a little bite. At this point, I really can’t decide whether to scream or laugh so I just do both.
And then you know what he did? He got right in my face and in his most flamboyant voice he playfully said “Well, honey, now what did you expect coming here?”