Example #286 Why Dating Drives Me to Drink

I want to share what went down with WorkSpouse so I can refer to it from here on out and you guys will understand.  I found this draft of a post I wrote right before it all fell apart…

March 18th

Ever since the night me and Work Spouse made out, we’ve been talking non stop.  I had assumed it was just a drunken attraction as I’ve always just looked at him as a friend. The day that really changed it was my birthday.  He couldn’t come out the night before so we made plans for him to come over on my actual birthday and play Rock Band.  After we got tired of rocking we decided to just relax and watch TV and we started cuddling and then… making out sober for the first time.  And it was good, really good.  And comfortable.  That is the night that made me stop and think.

But then the next day he mentions how he told his Mom I’m his “friend he makes out with.” YES! THE WORDS EVERY GIRL DREAMS OF HEARING. He had been sticking to the fact that we were just friends and I was off limits for the following reasons:

He doesn’t date co-workers
I just dated his friend (Meantime Man)
We’re really good friends

I’m pretty much breaking every rule the kid has about dating.  Yet what he says and what he does is not matching up.  I know he doesn’t want a relationship but he acts like were dating, all while saying we are just friends!  So now, we are just stuck in some sort of friends/dating limbo.

For instance, last night I went up to his house, met his Mom, went to dinner (he paid), he held my hand the whole way home, we tried to watch a movie and ended up hardcore making out. So we’re… friends? We’re… friends w/ benefits (although not many)? Dating? Seeing each other?

He’s only about a month out of a three year relationship. I KNOW he doesn’t want a relationship right now… wait, does that sound familiar? Does that sound like the same story as The Ex? I know, and that’s probably why I’m on the express train to Crazytown right now.

The worst part is, he is a really close friend. He KNOWS about The Crazy. He has heard me talk crazy about other boys and he doesn’t want to do that to me. He is seriously one of the best guys out there.

So the dilemma? The complete, honest to blog truth is I feel myself falling for him. I mean, he is one of my closest friends and the physical chemistry? Off the charts. So really, what more could I ask for!? But, it’s complicated.

Really complicated.

There’s the really good friendship that could get ruined.

The fact that we work together.

The fact that I just was dating/sleeping with his friend.

Most importantly, I’m just really really scared of getting hurt and that’s why The Crazy is sneaking in. I mean, that’s what causes The Crazy afterall, it’s our fears.

So, bottom line – if I feel like I will end up getting hurt, do I break it off now? Or do I try to just go with it and have fun and see what happens?

*    *     *     *     *

Well, I never even got around to posting that entry before eventually things got weird.  Well, he got weird.  Later on, we talked about it and just like I was scared of getting hurt, he was scared of getting hurt, or worse, hurting me.  It sucked.  I was disappointed. 

But, the real kicker.  The reason I kinda think he’s an asshole now is that around the same time he got weird, he starting spending all his time with another girl, who was also just his “friend.” 

She has a boyfriend who lives a couple states away.

A baby.

A baby daddy who she still sleeps with.

Cannot keep a job.

And he spends all his time with her.  It’s been, oh, a month and a half now.  And because we’re such great friends, I found out that they are sleeping together and pretty much dating, even though he told me he would never. 

And the reasoning why he’d want to be with her over me?

“Well, it’s just easy.  There’s no strings attached.  I don’t have to worry about her getting attached to me or me getting attached to her.  Plus, it could fall apart and I could never talk to her again and I wouldn’t care.  If things went bad with us, I would be so upset about losing you as a friend.”

Yada, yada, yada.  I actually got over the whole thing pretty quickly probably because I found his behavior so ridiculous and unattractive. 

Apparently, guys would rather date girls who don’t speak English (that’s over already btw) and girls who already have a boyfriend then put work into something real and THAT is frustrating as hell.



Filed under Boys are Dumb, Cubicle Life, Dating Stories, When the CraZy takes over

19 responses to “Example #286 Why Dating Drives Me to Drink

  1. Ugh… that does suck. Boys *are* dumb. I know there are good ones out there, though. Hang in there.

  2. Wow. That sucks. A lot. It’s amazing that someone would be able to ignore such chemistry for the sake of complicating things. I mean, he could at least try to make sure you were both on the same page before getting weird and bailing. Obviously, you deserve someone else. I’m sorry.

  3. That really sucks, so sorry. I think it’s funny how guys say they don’t want relationships, but then they still try to simulate relationships with you anyways. Like, what do you think this is? And how is it any different than actually dating? Keep your chin up though, he is clearly an idiot for letting you go.

    • Haha OMG it’s so true! I hate it! It’s like they want to be in a relationship because they act like your boyfriend.. but just say the word “relationship” and they are running for the hills!

  4. Well, what a toolbag. While I’m very sorry for the situation I’m glad that things didn’t progress further with him since he seems to be a bit confused or not thinking clearly.

    I dated or liked many guys who didn’t want relationships but then they turned around and were back with their ex, or some skanky chick or engaged within a few months. I will confess I don’t totally understand guys.

  5. i was wondering what the story was there, but figured you would share with us when you were ready.
    im sorry that everything went down the way it did. there is sometimes no explaining guys’ behavior. what i do know is that you deserve it all- the butterflies, the happiness, the sexy, all of it. and i know you will find that.
    hang in there sweet girl.

  6. wow. sucky situation girl. knowing me i’d be the one who sticks around to get hurt, but would hope someone would tell me to get out NOW. do whats best for you. but do know there are BETTER guys out there. ;D

  7. URGHH complicated. Guys are so unpredicatble and I think you deserve better but …it’s hard to say it if you’re really into the guy.

    Are you really into the guy?

  8. Oh my… What a complicated “thing” you guys have. I think you deserve to be treated better. Maybe your friend is just looking for a booty call? I have no idea…If you really find yourself falling for this guy, please guard your heart. At the rate things are going you might have to take things slowly. It is possible for friends to become lovers but from lovers to friends is a big no no…. =) Good luck with everything.

  9. Pingback: LOST, LOST, LOST… Oh and an Update on WorkSpouse « Little Miss Obsessive

  10. It’s a funny thing. After the last few months, I’ve sorta given up on trying to figure out the whole male-female interaction thing. Like when Jury Girl didn’t call me back and stood me up for the date, I actually didn’t give it much thought as to why. I think it’s just one of those things that we’re never supposed to truly understand.

    Of course, given the behavior of the guy above, I have no idea how the hell it is that I’m still single. LOL

  11. Boy reasoning never makes sense…it’s mad frustrating…

  12. Hey I’m new over here! I stopped by from Alana’s blog! I love the title of your blog, it is so cute!! Sorry to hear about your boy drama… boys so suck sometimes! hang in there!

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