I want to share what went down with WorkSpouse so I can refer to it from here on out and you guys will understand. I found this draft of a post I wrote right before it all fell apart…
Ever since the night me and Work Spouse made out, we’ve been talking non stop. I had assumed it was just a drunken attraction as I’ve always just looked at him as a friend. The day that really changed it was my birthday. He couldn’t come out the night before so we made plans for him to come over on my actual birthday and play Rock Band. After we got tired of rocking we decided to just relax and watch TV and we started cuddling and then… making out sober for the first time. And it was good, really good. And comfortable. That is the night that made me stop and think.
But then the next day he mentions how he told his Mom I’m his “friend he makes out with.” YES! THE WORDS EVERY GIRL DREAMS OF HEARING. He had been sticking to the fact that we were just friends and I was off limits for the following reasons:
He doesn’t date co-workers
I just dated his friend (Meantime Man)
We’re really good friends
I’m pretty much breaking every rule the kid has about dating. Yet what he says and what he does is not matching up. I know he doesn’t want a relationship but he acts like were dating, all while saying we are just friends! So now, we are just stuck in some sort of friends/dating limbo.
For instance, last night I went up to his house, met his Mom, went to dinner (he paid), he held my hand the whole way home, we tried to watch a movie and ended up hardcore making out. So we’re… friends? We’re… friends w/ benefits (although not many)? Dating? Seeing each other?
He’s only about a month out of a three year relationship. I KNOW he doesn’t want a relationship right now… wait, does that sound familiar? Does that sound like the same story as The Ex? I know, and that’s probably why I’m on the express train to Crazytown right now.
The worst part is, he is a really close friend. He KNOWS about The Crazy. He has heard me talk crazy about other boys and he doesn’t want to do that to me. He is seriously one of the best guys out there.
So the dilemma? The complete, honest to blog truth is I feel myself falling for him. I mean, he is one of my closest friends and the physical chemistry? Off the charts. So really, what more could I ask for!? But, it’s complicated.
There’s the really good friendship that could get ruined.
The fact that we work together.
The fact that I just was dating/sleeping with his friend.
Most importantly, I’m just really really scared of getting hurt and that’s why The Crazy is sneaking in. I mean, that’s what causes The Crazy afterall, it’s our fears.
So, bottom line – if I feel like I will end up getting hurt, do I break it off now? Or do I try to just go with it and have fun and see what happens?
* * * * *
Well, I never even got around to posting that entry before eventually things got weird. Well, he got weird. Later on, we talked about it and just like I was scared of getting hurt, he was scared of getting hurt, or worse, hurting me. It sucked. I was disappointed.
But, the real kicker. The reason I kinda think he’s an asshole now is that around the same time he got weird, he starting spending all his time with another girl, who was also just his “friend.”
She has a boyfriend who lives a couple states away.
A baby daddy who she still sleeps with.
Cannot keep a job.
And he spends all his time with her. It’s been, oh, a month and a half now. And because we’re such great friends, I found out that they are sleeping together and pretty much dating, even though he told me he would never.
And the reasoning why he’d want to be with her over me?
“Well, it’s just easy. There’s no strings attached. I don’t have to worry about her getting attached to me or me getting attached to her. Plus, it could fall apart and I could never talk to her again and I wouldn’t care. If things went bad with us, I would be so upset about losing you as a friend.”
Yada, yada, yada. I actually got over the whole thing pretty quickly probably because I found his behavior so ridiculous and unattractive.
Apparently, guys would rather date girls who don’t speak English (that’s over already btw) and girls who already have a boyfriend then put work into something real and THAT is frustrating as hell.