Monthly Archives: September 2009

Some Odds & Ends

Loveys, I have been exhuasted lately.  I can’t even form any full thoughts today so instead I’m just sharing a few odds & ends.  First, an interesting arcticle I read the other day:

http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/personal/09/29/o.finding.lasting.love/index.html

I liked the idea behind this article.  That we should look for “relationships of shared virtue” or those people who bring out the very best in us.  Lately, I have been thinking about how The Ex brought out this nasty, crazy girl in me I didn’t like.  In contrast, The Boy makes me actually want to be a better person and at the same time, also makes me love the person I already am.  I think that right there puts a lot in perspective.

Next, a quote I read on this lovely lady’s blog:

If the picture doesn’t load, the quote is “Be with someone who knows what they have, when they have you.” Le love.

Lastly, a couple things that are making me all sorts of happy these Fall days:

Sam Adam’s Octoberfest & the fact that it’s getting cold enough out to wear my Uggs! 🙂

Do you have any odds or ends to share?!

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Filed under Blogs I Heart, Love, Random Thoughts, Relationships, Warm Fuzzy Feelings

This Summer I…

Focused on me, and learned a lot in the process…

Let The Ex prove once and for all he is not worth my time

Saw a movie that changed my life…

Realized the older I get, the more comfortable I become with who I am, inside and out

Spent time at my favorite spot in the world, the beach…

Strengthened the bond with my closest girlfriends

Took a lot of pictures…

Had a BLAST..

And ended it all, with finding a very special someone.

Summer 09 – you were good to me 🙂

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Filed under My Favorite Things, The Good Stuff, Warm Fuzzy Feelings

Smitten

He calls me beautiful.  He keeps his promises.  He listens to me when I talk and remembers the things I tell him.  He is always planning thoughtful dates for us, even though we can have fun together no matter what we are doing.  He has this cute little deep laugh that happens when he is being mischievous that drives me crazy, in a good way.  He understands that I’m silly, not ditzy.  He laughs at me and my little idiosyncrasies.  He holds me like he never wants to let me go.  He likes to remind me that he thinks I’m amazing.  He understands that my friends are a big part of my life and takes the time to get to know them.

He makes me smile… a lot.

He is the kind of boy who buys me Beatles Rock Band just because he feels like doing something nice for me and knows I want it.   He’s the kind of boy who wants to take me to the Jets game on Sunday even though he’s a Dolphins fan.  He’s the kind of boy I always wanted but never thought I’d ever be able to call my own… but I can. 🙂

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Filed under Honest to blog, Relationships, The Good Stuff, Warm Fuzzy Feelings, Why I Sometimes Adore Boys

A Few Good Dates

Well, things with The Boy keep on getting better and better, so I decided I should do a little date recap. 🙂

Date #3

I went to his house and he cooked us dinner, a chicken stir fry that was delicious!  He admitted its practically one of the only good things he can make besides grilled cheese but I thought it was sweet he just made an effort to do something special like that.  So after dinner, we watched Role Models and got cuddly on the couch.

After the movie, we decided to go to his room to just watch TV and relax until I wanted to go home.  It was then, laying in bed all cuddled up nice and cozy, that I realized just how much I liked being in his arms, and just being around him.  There were times when we just layed there legs and arms intertwined in comfortable silence.  There were times of passionate kissing and there were times of just being goofy.  And around midnight it dawned on me I should really head home however, I really just didn’t want to leave!

Cute moment of the night as we were laying together in bed:

The Boy: So… not to be cheesy but…

Me: heh.. it’s okay… what?

The Boy: I’m just really glad I met you… *kisses me on the forehead*

🙂

Date #4

Two nights later Banana and I met him and his friend in Atlantic City.  We had a great time and we were super affectionate without being too nauseating to our friends, I hope lol.  I love that he is so affectionate and always so conscious of holding my hand or putting his arm around my waist.  It just makes me feel wanted and I like that.  🙂  It was also the first night he called me beautiful. 🙂  And since, he has made it a habit to remind me that he thinks it.

Date #5

We had plans to go to the beach on Monday night but late afternoon he texted me asking if I would want to come over and eat dinner with his parents before we went to the beach.  What I was thinking was NO, that’s scary! What I said was, what time is dinner? And it was good, they were really sweet.  It’s always nerve racking but I made it through. 🙂

Then, we got to the fun part of the date – going to the beach at night! My absolute favorite.  I love cold sand between the toes, it is amazing.  And the smell of the ocean and the relaxing sound of the waves crashing.  We laid down a blanket and got cozy.  It was so much fun but I had to give him a hard time for wearing sneakers because really, who does that?

Anyways, it was really nice and it gave us a great chance to just relax and talk and cuddle (if you haven’t noticed, we reallyyy love to cuddle lol)

Suffice to say, I’m a little bit smitten. 🙂  And those sparks I wasn’t sure about before?  They are most definitely there, along with the butterflies and all other warm, fuzzy feelings.

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Filed under Dating Stories, Honest to blog, Relationships, The Good Stuff, Warm Fuzzy Feelings

Please Hold, While I Have a Fucking Moment

God, Facebook is the Devil sometimes.

I hate it.

Hate, hate, hate it.

I was having a really good day.  I was ready to come on here tonight and tell you guys how date #3 went really well.  In fact, at the end of the night, I didn’t even want to leave.  I was perfectly content all wrapped up in his arms.

Then tonight, I went on Facebook and decided to torture myself by looking at The Ex’s page (I have him hidden from my newsfeed which really does nothing except cause me to actually go to his profile in order to stalk him out, which I do practically every day, sad I know).  It had been a couple days though but lately there’s been this girl.  This girl leaving comments on every status update… inside jokes and comments that led me to believe they were dating.

Tonight, I have decided it’s definite.  And I hate that I care.  We’ve been over for a long time… well, we did have another fling in May which maybe is why I still care.  But either way, I KNOW deep down he is NOT the guy for me.  I gave so much to someone who gave so little.  He does not deserve me, even he would try to convince me of this.

But back to the moment I had, after I saw the comments, I felt sucker punched.  I got nauseous and shaky.  I closed the window and tried to compose myself by thinking of all his flaws and the mean things he’s said and done to me.  Somehow my attention shifted to the New Boy.  And all of the sudden I was all Negative Nancy about it.  All FORGET IT! I’m better off alone, without ANYONE!! Fuck guys!! Being all super dramatic in my head.  Cursing all guys ever born.

I’ve calmed down now… I’m feeling slightly better.  I know that he can’t make me happy but it doesn’t stop it from hurting.  Knowing maybe he could be the guy I imagined he was for some other girl.  But the truth is, he will probably treat her the same shitty way.  Only thinking of himself, only doing the things that benefit him, calling all the shots.  I don’t want that.  I don’t and I know it.

But still, if I need to actually see this in the near future at a party, well, I’m just not ready for that yet.

P.S. I have the best bloggy buds ever, thanks so much for the feedback on the last post!  🙂

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Filed under Boys are Dumb, Dating Stories, Honest to blog, My Crazy, The Ex is a douchebag.. the end, When the CraZy takes over

New Boy, New Crazy

Hi bloggies, I’m back! and so is The Crazy.  Oh who am I kidding, The Crazy never really leaves me, it just lays dormant for a little while.  Anyways, I’ve been feeling a little nutty the last couple days.  Nutty over a boy.  Notice, I didn’t say smitten but nutty, as in I’m thinking so much, my brain might explode.

I’m not giving him a cute little name yet… I feel like it’s too soon for that.  So, I met him online… oh, and he just so happens to have the same name as The Ex, which is actually a lot more annoying than I anticipated it being!  The Ex’s name just holds so much weight to it, ya know?  I say that name and I think of him.  But when I talk about the new boy with my friends we just call him OK (because we met through OK Cupid lol) so that makes life slightly easier.

 So the new boy, well, I feel like he is just very genuine.  He is super sweet and nice, but a little on the shy side.  The thing is that while the first date flowed really well and I had a good time, I didn’t know how much we sparked.  Maybe I was thinking about it too much or maybe it’s the fact that he’s just so nice.  However, I did want him to kiss me at the end, which he did not!  (side note: end of date = awkwardness, unless you’ve already kissed earlier in the date)

So first date was on Thursday, second date was on Sunday.  He came over to just hang out since I had the house to myself.  We watched Beerfest (actually very funny movie) and then played a little Rock Band.  We ended up being all cuddly during the movie and the night ended which a couple cute kisses.  After he left, I found myself really happy but at the same time questioning things.  Do we have enough in common?  Is the chemistry enough?  Is there spark? 

I spent most of yesterday thinking about it.  I can’t help but notice that this is what I do with nice guys.  I look for reasons to run.  If a guy’s into me, I get freaked out.  If he acts uninterested or like a jerk, I’ll be dying to see him again.  But really, when a nice guy likes me, it’s almost like I don’t know what to do with myself and I become really critical of the situation.  I hate being like this.

The thing is that he contacts me just enough.  Not overwhelming but he is consistent.  He’s respectful.  He thinks about me instead of just himself.  He tries to plan cute dates for us.

And yet, is there a spark?  I don’t know! Is that bad?  Is what I assume a “spark” with the jerks just because its more difficult, more thrilling.  Is it actually just a figment of my imagination because I’m having to work to get a guy to like me? 

Tonight is our third date.  I’m going to his house and he’s cooking us dinner (+ 5 cute points)  I feel like tonight will be a big tell of whether something is really there or not.  I know I sound crazy and that I should just take about 100 chill pills and calm the fuck down but I just get nervous about these kinds of things.

So, I was just curious bloggy buds, have you ever had chemistry develop slower?  Have you ever been unsure in the beggining?  Does it usually mean something is not there?  Do you think I’m a whackadoo worrying like this?  Ok, Go!

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Filed under Dating Stories, Honest to blog, New Beginnings, Relationships, When the CraZy takes over