Please Hold, While I Have a Fucking Moment

God, Facebook is the Devil sometimes.

I hate it.

Hate, hate, hate it.

I was having a really good day.  I was ready to come on here tonight and tell you guys how date #3 went really well.  In fact, at the end of the night, I didn’t even want to leave.  I was perfectly content all wrapped up in his arms.

Then tonight, I went on Facebook and decided to torture myself by looking at The Ex’s page (I have him hidden from my newsfeed which really does nothing except cause me to actually go to his profile in order to stalk him out, which I do practically every day, sad I know).  It had been a couple days though but lately there’s been this girl.  This girl leaving comments on every status update… inside jokes and comments that led me to believe they were dating.

Tonight, I have decided it’s definite.  And I hate that I care.  We’ve been over for a long time… well, we did have another fling in May which maybe is why I still care.  But either way, I KNOW deep down he is NOT the guy for me.  I gave so much to someone who gave so little.  He does not deserve me, even he would try to convince me of this.

But back to the moment I had, after I saw the comments, I felt sucker punched.  I got nauseous and shaky.  I closed the window and tried to compose myself by thinking of all his flaws and the mean things he’s said and done to me.  Somehow my attention shifted to the New Boy.  And all of the sudden I was all Negative Nancy about it.  All FORGET IT! I’m better off alone, without ANYONE!! Fuck guys!! Being all super dramatic in my head.  Cursing all guys ever born.

I’ve calmed down now… I’m feeling slightly better.  I know that he can’t make me happy but it doesn’t stop it from hurting.  Knowing maybe he could be the guy I imagined he was for some other girl.  But the truth is, he will probably treat her the same shitty way.  Only thinking of himself, only doing the things that benefit him, calling all the shots.  I don’t want that.  I don’t and I know it.

But still, if I need to actually see this in the near future at a party, well, I’m just not ready for that yet.

P.S. I have the best bloggy buds ever, thanks so much for the feedback on the last post!  🙂

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8 Comments

Filed under Boys are Dumb, Dating Stories, Honest to blog, My Crazy, The Ex is a douchebag.. the end, When the CraZy takes over

8 responses to “Please Hold, While I Have a Fucking Moment

  1. i think most girls do this. i stalk out my exes friends on facebook for information (because the ex doesn’t have an account) and i eventually had to delete all of his friends because i was going crazy. i also had to delete all his emails and texts and numbers so that i wouldn’t be tempted to do something stupid. and i’ve got to say, it’s helped alot.

  2. I can not even tell you how many times I have done this to myself. And not just with the most recent ex but with all of them since the invention of social media. It might be marvelous sometimes but others sucks so bad.

  3. i know it will be hard, but probably the best thing to do is take him off your friend list.

    somethings are better to just not know about, especially when it still hurts you.

  4. I’m going to be a little tough for a moment – delete him from your Facebook friends. I don’t know your story but if he was bad to you, then why are you holding on? I deleted my ex from all social networking sights because I could not take his constant gushing over his new girlfriend. I was in the same place you are – knowing he wasn’t the one for me but crushed that he had someone else. It’s really just a suggestion and you have to do what you’re comfortable with but it does help. 🙂

    Hope you’re feeling better!

  5. angelrev

    hey tats kinda same feelin every gal feels.. but u will get over it eventually..:)…

  6. Ouch, sorry to hear facebook slapped you across the face. I still stalk some people’s Facebook pages just because I can’t help but wonder what they’re up to. I can imagine this was tough but it will get better.

  7. That’s it! I’m coming up there to beat him up! He doesn’t know who I am so it would be a total surprise.

    It’s hard when you’ve loved someone for a long time. They have a hold on you, whether you like it or not, whether you know it’s right or not. It takes time. You’ll know when you’re ready to let it all go but it’s a process and different for all of us.

    So… do we get to hear about Date # 3? =)

  8. It’s never easy seeing someone who’s been a part of you starting a new bond with a new girl, nothing can really prepare you for it. All I can say is you’ll let go and you’ll only need time. Of course not going to his facebook page will help too but even I can’t resist to do that to my exes’s profiles from time to time.

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