Monthly Archives: December 2009

Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand Six Hundred Minutes

For me, 2009 was a year of self reflection, taking chances, opening myself up and letting go.

It turned out to be a pretty big year, but in a quiet way, maybe that’s why I didn’t realize it while I was going through it.  Nothing huge and dramatic really happened but somehow through new friends, a lot of self reflection and decisions, things are changing – I’m changing, life is changing, and it’s exciting and scary at the same time.  But don’t you think that is when the best things happen?  That exciting and scary feeling?  I think it’s a good sign.

I started off the year at a hotel party with a group of my best friends dancing my little heart out.  I didn’t have anyone to kiss at midnight but I was really okay with that.  Actually, I was more than okay with it because the year before I had The Ex to kiss at midnight and THAT night went on to be my worst NYE thus far in life (thanks to a giant fight w/ him, the jerkface!).  So I learned, having someone to kiss at midnight does not a great New Years Eve make.   But back to last year’s New Year’s Eve, right after the ball dropped “Walking on Sunshine” came on, which just so happens to be my theme song at work.  I couldn’t help but think that it might be a sign from The Universe that this year might just be awesome.

And looking back?  Well, it kind of was.  Of course, there was hard stuff…. there’s ALWAYS going to be hard stuff.  But there was lots & lots of really good stuff too and that’s really the stuff I remember the most.  I went on two awesome vacations with my best friends and had countless fun nights out.  I tried snowboarding for the first time and finally took some jewelry making classes!  But this year was less about what I did and more about what I learned.

The beginning of this year was filled with some…. interesting dating experiences, to say the least (you know, like the guy who whipped it out, Work Spouse, Meantime Man & of course, the last of The Ex) and as awkward/upsetting/ UN-FREAKIN-BELIEVABLE as some of those experiences were, I still wouldn’t take them back.  Because I learned from each bad date, from each disappointment, from each dating disaster and I filed away new information about what I do and DON’T want out of a relationship and a boyfriend.  Plus, let’s be honest – it made for some good blog fodder. 😉

But something that defined this year the most for me happened in the summer.  I reconnected with an old friend from high school, who I spent hours and hours getting to know again through conversations online.  He’s a deep, intellectual and introspective person and somehow through our conversations, I got to thinking a lot about my own life, my own thoughts and opinions, dreams and goals.  I started questioning things and ideas and beliefs I had my whole life and began to wonder if I’d been going through life with too many of my Mom’s opinions shaping the way I was living.  So, I vowed to make changes and to live life on my own terms.  I realized that if I kept living my life through my Mom’s eyes I would never be happy.  So, I made a big decision to apply to grad schools and to take a RISK!  Something I really feel like I haven’t done enough of in my life, mostly because my Mom tends to stress taking the safe route.  But I’m going after what I want and need to do right now.  I’m going after a new career path, one I feel passionate about and I’m giving it a try.  It is a risk – I know this but one that I feel is worth taking.

And then amidst all this decision making, self reflecting, growing and embracing who I am, something even more amazing happened.  I found myself talking to this sweet boy on OK Cupid and although I was pretty over the whole online dating thing, I felt like I should meet up with him.  At this point, my expectations were low and dating had really taken a back burner to the bigger ideas I had swirling around my head.  But it turned out to be one of the best decisions I ever made because four months later, I sometimes forget what my life was like without him.  And I don’t mean that in a bad, my relationship is my whole life kind of way… more like, he fits into my world so perfectly and he fills in these little gaps I didn’t even know existed and just makes my life that much sweeter.  He is not my everything or my only happiness BUT he is who I get to share my life, my happiness WITH – which is what I think I’ve been looking for all along.

I have a feeling that I will always look back on 2009 very fondly.  Something about the little moments, the little revelations, the little ideas, that ended up having a big impact on me. 

Love & best wishes to you all in 2010.

xoxo

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18 Comments

Filed under Here Comes the Sap, Honest to blog, My Crazy Thoughts, Reminiscing, The Good Stuff, The Quarter Life Crisis, Warm Fuzzy Feelings

Because I Still Heart Being Random on Friday’s

It’s Friday, party people!!  Woot Woot.  🙂

After yesterday did a wonderful job of kicking my ass, I am kicking today’s ass.  Or well, maybe The Universe just loves me today.  Actually, it’s a fact – it told me in my note this morning:

Did you know, LMO, that every time you cry there, harps go quiet here, angels stop dancing, and the stars look down in stunned silence?  Which is why we often say, “If LMO ain’t happy, ain’t no one happy.”
You are loved,
    The Universe

See, Universe = lots of love today.  Does the universe send you a love note every morning?  No?  Well then go here and get to it: http://www.tut.com/resources/notes/

I really can’t believe Christmas is only TWO WEEKS away.  Can you guess who’s done pretty much NO shopping?  Who’s that you guessed?  Did you say LMO?  Well then yes, you are correct you smart little cookie, you.  I was off to a terrible start too, as I’m getting my boyfriend a customized Dolphins jersey and I put off ordering it until a couple weeks ago because um, I don’t know, the website never SAID it was on BACKORDER!!!  So anyways, I ordered it only to learn that it will probably take 2-4 weeks to ship and once it does, it goes out UPS ground and takes another 3-6 days to be delivered.  So I crunched the numbers and proceeded to freak out because, oh shit! it very well might not be here for Christmas!  Tear tear.

Well, wouldn’t you know I checked my e-mail this morning only to discover it shipped out today.  Cue happy happy dance! 🙂

I’m really looking forward to this weekend – I have nice mix of relaxation, productivity and fun planned.   Tonight Boyfriend & I are going to go looking for some ugly sweaters for our party we have next weekend.  Do you guys have any tips on where we should look!?  Then tomorrow is all about Christmas shopping and relaxing once I’m done.

Then on Sunday, I’m going up to NY to go to my aunt’s baby shower.  I can’t believe we are going to have a little baby in the family – it has been a long time! like 13 yrs!  So happy for her and can’t wait to meet the little guy or girl in February. 🙂

I bet it will be another boy.  When I was younger, I always wanted a little girl cousin to play with, teach her how to do curl her hair and let her play with my makeup.  I am the oldest cousin on my Dad’s side of the family, then comes my sis who is two years younger then my one girl cousin who is two years younger than my sis.  But she was the biggest brat when she was younger so she did not fulfill my hope for a little girl cousin!  So after her, I have FIVE BOY COUSINS.  Every time one of my Aunt’s would get pregnant, I would pray for a girl, please a girl!  And every time, it was a boy.  I wonder if now, I’ll finally get my little girl cousin, lol.  That would be cute. 🙂

Have a great weekend lovlies!

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Filed under Christmas Lovin', I get giddy on Fridays, Random Thoughts

Because I had 14 minutes to spare at work…

I don’t normally like to talk about my dreams too much.  I don’t even enjoy hearing about dreams that much unless I’m being asked to dissect the meaning of them, which can be kind of fun.  But mostly, it’s always a bit anticlimactic – I mean, this stuff didn’t really happen so I’m usually just like “yea, that is a weird dream” and thats about it.  However, I had an interesting dream that I remember pretty vividly the other night.  And I’m gonna share it and you guys will probably be all “yea, that is weird” just like I usually say at the end of dream stories and move on with your lives, but I’m gonna share it anyway lol.  Cubie thinks this one is a bit telling of my inner secret thoughts.

So, the dream starts off with Boyfriend proposing to me.  I don’t even think it was suppose to be in the future, it was like now – just 3-4 months in, but I said yes and was happy, although I knew it was fast.  Then all the sudden it is another day and I’m on a deck in the summertime and The Ex comes up to me and gets down on one knee.  He starts to propose to me but when he grabs my hand, he sees the ring from The Ex and gets upset/mad.  He starts crying and keeps asking “Why? Why would you do that when you KNEW I was going to propose to you!?!” 

I feel bad and I’m shocked to see him showing EMOTION but I just look at him and say matter of factly, “yes, but why would I ever believe you?”

I give him a hug and tell him I’m sorry but I’m marrying Boyfriend. 

Then for some reason, I have a really quick wedding and it isn’t at all how I want it.  And my hair in particular is just AWFUL and I’m SO UPSET because you only get one wedding and mine is just terrible and not at all how I wanted it.  Even my Mom & sister tell me my hair looks like crap.

And then I woke up genuinely upset/relieved over this dream.  Mostly relieved that I didn’t really have awful, awful hair on my wedding day.

Whew.

3 Comments

Filed under Boyfriend <3, Random Thoughts, Relationships, The Ex

Because I need to get this off my chest…

You know that scene in Elf, the one where he is all “I’m in love, I’m in LOVE! and I don’t care who knows it!”

That’s kind of how I feel on the inside – because I’m waiting for my boyfriend to say it first and now, it’s slowly starting to drive me crazy, heh.  I’m being patient, these things can’t be rushed but I’m starting to feel like if I don’t say it soon, I’ll just explode!

So, instead I’ll just tell you people. 🙂

(le love)

11 Comments

Filed under Honest to blog, Relationships, The Good Stuff, Warm Fuzzy Feelings

Because I Heart Being Random on Fridays…

Thanks for sharing in my happiness of the last post – it WAS a fucking fabulous feeling. 🙂

Anyhoots, today was a bit of a doozy… you know how sometimes things build up inside of you and you don’t even realize it?  And then something small happens and all the sudden you are totally coming undone and sitting there like what just happened?  Yea, that was what happened at approximately 5:45pm.  However, it was nothing big and just a bunch of things related to still living at home, graduate school application stress, family stress, and the topper was basically having a hissy fit over the fact that my boyfriend and I never get any time to ourselves.  I mean, we do but not really because we both live at home and our parents both treat us like we are still in high school.  Anyways, more on that another day.

Onto happy things, because it’s almost Friday – woot woot.  My best friends and I were going to do our annual Secret Santa this year but then one of my friends had the idea to just do small $10-$15 gifts for each of us so that we could all exchange.  So, I thought about it and decided I want to get most of my stuff on Etsy and support my little crafters out there!  Here is what I’ve purchased so far:

I bought these two cutie cute necklaces from Bead Up


And this adorable wallet and hair pins from Your Wishcake

But I am definitely not done yet!  Do you have your own Etsy shop or know of one I should check out?  Leave a comment! Thanks 🙂

Let’s see what other happiness can I share?  Well, here’s my favorite pic from the engagement party on Saturday:

Also, please note, this is the face I insist on making when I’m drunk. One day I will make a collage of pictures of me making this stupid face b/c its that ridiculous lol.

And finally, my favorite quote of the week courtesy of a tweeting Rev Run:

A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice, to be able to be thankful for a good one – Marjorie Rawlings

Oh so very true.

Happy Weekend Bloggy Buds! 🙂

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Filed under Uncategorized

Because I Think This Should Be Documented

Saturday night found me at my best friend’s engagement party.  I was there with my boyfriend.  The Ex was there with his 33 yr old woman friend. 

And I was okay.

Nope, I was great.

In fact, I found myself to be so deliriously happy with my boyfriend that I could not and would not let The Ex bring me down in the least.

And that my friends, is pretty fucking fantastic.

Because I didn’t know if I ever would get here.

And yet, here I am.

The End.

9 Comments

Filed under Honest to blog, Relationships, The Ex