Monthly Archives: March 2010

A Little Venting..

You know what is insanely frustrating?  Being misunderstood and fighting with someone you love. 

I had a really great weekend but it ended quite horribly, with a big fight with my Mom.

Basically, she wanted to talk about my internship and the grad program I got accepted to.  She asked what my internship would involve and I told her all the different aspects to it and her only response was – “well, how would YOU know how to do that?”  Um, its called training, and you know, being in classes designed to learn to do this exactly!  Geez…

So we moved onto the whole financial aspect of it.  My internship pays my tuition and also provides a $7,000 stipend.  I would THINK that she would be happy about this, but instead she tells me I should be worried about next year and if they are going to all the sudden have to cut my stipend or tuition remission.   Anyways, she went on to ask a bunch of other questions like whether I will defer my student loans or not and what I want to do with my degree and what the salaries in this field are like.

But it wasn’t a conversation, it felt more like an interrogation.  There was no feedback, just question, a nice long answer from me and then she’d make a face and then ask another question.

Finally, I said “I don’t like talking to you about this because you are just always negative.”

And she flipped her lid. 

I pointed out how she never even said congratulations to me or really anything positive at all, pretty much throughout this whole process.  She countered that she said “good luck” before my interview and asked how it went afterwards.

Which, yes she did ask how my interviews went, I will give her that but she again had not a positive thing to say.  I told her about the program and answered a few questions she had and she didn’t have a single bit of feedback.  Except at the end when she said, sighhhh “I just wish the timing was different.”  (referring to the economy and the schools in our state having big budget cuts)

The thing is that I do understand that she is just worried about me and wants to make sure I am fully thinking this through.  My problem is the fact that she NEVER has anything positive to say to me about it at all.  If she would just act a little happy for me then I wouldn’t mind all the questions and the worrying.  But its like I waste my breathe answering her questions because she never has anything nice to say – all she does is just make these stupid skeptical faces.

And the part that really upsets me is that she says that it’s all in my head and that she isn’t being negative.  But I know its not in my head.  It’s just very frustrating.  She gets mad and says I never talk to her about anything but I feel like I can’t.  I’d rather talk to the people around me who are truly supportive and excited for me.  But of course she is one of the most important people in my life so I want to talk to her about school but she makes it so hard and she refuses to take any responsibility for that.

Anyways, I know this is probably not the most coherent post but I just needed to get it out I guess.  So thanks.

Update: I talked to my Mom when I got home and we smoothed things over.  She still believes that I had a preconceived notion that she is unsupportive of my decision which may be true to an extent but I also believe that she doesn’t realize the way the things she says come off to me.  Regardless, she did tell me she does think it is exciting and I finally got a little positiveness out of her.

7 Comments

Filed under The Hard Stuff

Friday Smiles!

I GOT IN!!  I got into the grad program I wanted AND got the internship I was crossing my fingers & toes for!  I just found out. 🙂  I’m so happy! 

Also?  I’m going to see my girl Tay Tay in concert tonight in Philly!

Also?  I’m going snowboarding tomorrow!

Also? I got my nails did yesterday and I love them.

Also? I love you &  I’m too excited to write any more!

Happy Friday, blog tarts!!!! 

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Filed under Love, Warm Fuzzy Feelings

You feelin Lucky?

 Happy St. Patty’s Day, you guys! 🙂

I’ve had that saying – “luck of the Irish” stuck in my head all day.  Perhaps because I might hear back from the school I interviewed with last week and I’m hoping maybe I’ll have some of that Irish luck on my side today!  Hey, I’ll take whatever help I can get. 😉

Anyway, this saying got me thinking about what ways I’ve been lucky lately.

Regardless of what happens with the grad program I am waiting to hear back from, I feel lucky to finally have found a career path that I want to pursue and feel passionate about.  Being at the interview days last week really got me so excited and calmed some of my nerves about whether I was making the right decision.  I felt sparks – like yes, this is the right career for me, how could I have not realized this sooner!  I’ve NEVER felt that before.  That was always my problem, I was always waiting to find that one career that really, truly called to me.  So I feel very lucky to have realized this path I’d like to go down.

For many years, I thought I was cursed with bad luck in love (this is truly not an exaggeration – 100% thought I was CURSED!).  Well, right now I feel pretty lucky in love and I can only hope it stays that way.  Maybe it’s the Irish in both of us combined to bring us some good luck – who knows!

I’m lucky in friendships.  As I get older, I realize that not everyone gets to see there friends as often as I do.  Maybe thats partly because we haven’t totally entered the marriage and baby phase.  Or maybe because not many of us have moved away yet.  But right now, I feel lucky to have a bunch of close friends that are an amazing support system (and also ones awesome enough to partake in weekly LOST parties every Tuesday night!)

I’m lucky in family and health and happiness.

I guess too often we focus on the unlucky things.  Today, I encourage you to reflect on your good luck.  It might just make you feel warm and fuzzy. 🙂

Wishing you lots o’ love & luck today!

3 Comments

Filed under All Things Listy, The Good Stuff, Warm Fuzzy Feelings

Just Breathe…

Sometimes, I have to remind myself of this simple fact.  Sometimes, I let the little stresses of life consume me.  I feel my chest get tight and realize I am in fact barely breathing. 

I had the interview days at one of my top choices for grad school on Thursday and Friday of last week.  It went pretty well, I think.  I’m not the best at interviewing but I don’t think I completely bombed it.  I know I should feel relieved that the hard part is over.  And I do.  However, I also can’t kick the anxiety of analyzing everything I said and didn’t say during my SEVEN interviews over two days.   I should find out by the end of the week if I will be offered an internship/formal invitation to join the program so on the up side, at least I don’t have to torture myself for too much longer.

However, it has been frustrating me that I have been having such a hard time unwinding from the stress of the interview days.  I should feel satisfied that I accomplished what I set out to do – which was to try my very best.  I did that, and to be honest, I even surprised myself a little.  After the first interview, my nerves calmed down and the rest of the day seemed so much easier.  I guess the reason I feel like I’m bad at interviewing is that I get myself too worked up and then I can’t think straight.

Anyways, I guess I just felt like I couldn’t shut my mind off, even during my relaxing weekend.  All I could think about were the two days of interviews and learning about the program.  Obsessing.  I was definitely obsessing – and I wasn’t happy about it.  I just can’t seem to fully kick that annoying hint of anxiety and nervousness. 

I just keep trying to remind myself that it’s out of my hands.  I’ve done my part, I tried my hardest and now all I can do is hope for the best.  If I’m meant to go to this school it will work out.  If I don’t get in, it will be okay too.  And I just need to find peace in the fact that I went for it and did the best I could.

Inhale.  Exhale.

4 Comments

Filed under Honest to blog, My Crazy, Over Analyzing, The Quarter Life Crisis

On some bloggy things…

It’s Friday, ya’ll – FRIDAY!  Let the happy dance commence. 🙂

My little love list on Wednesday never posted to Google Reader – what is that about?  G Reader, you got some beef with me?  I can take ya… I can – you better watch your back!

I’ve been wanting to change the title of my blog for awhile now… Little Miss Obsessive while it is true, I can obsess about things – I find it a little bit negative.  Also I have run across too many other Little Miss Obsessive’s and the unoriginality makes me sad.  So if one day you pop on over and I’ve completely changed the name and blog title, don’t be surprised.  BUT I’m still mulling it over so we will see.

I’ve been thinking a lot about my little bloggy here and my brand – or well, lack thereof.  I’ve been thinking about what kind of blog I want this to be – you know, what my shtick is?  I’ve been hearing a lot about branding yourself and of course it does make a lot of sense to me.  Blogs are more popular, it seems, when you can clearly define what you are all about and who your audience is.  But, the thing I’ve realized is that maybe “my thing” is just being me.  100% me.  And maybe that is not the clearest, most defined direction for a blog but that’s what I want this space to be. 

I talk a lot about dating and relationships but would I call myself a relationship blog?  Not really.  I talk about other things like TV, fashion, my goals and dreams.  Some days I’m in the mood to be really positive but do I want to be an inspirational positive blog…. well, no because some days I want to just be honest.  And tell you that I’m sad or whine just a little.  I don’t want to have constraints.

I guess the thing I’ve come to realize is that I just want this space to be a reflection of all that I am.  I can’t only write positive because I don’t always feel positive.  I like to write about dating and relationships but I don’t want to only write about that.  So, I guess my general conclusion is that my only direction in this blog is being me.  Plain and simple.  And if you like reading about litle ole me, then thank you. 🙂

Do you brand yourself as a certain type of blog or blogger?  If so, do you feel like it constrains what you write about?

6 Comments

Filed under About Blogging

A Love List

After not writing for awhile, it’s always hard to come back. I haven’t written for so long that I don’t even know where to begin. So I decided I’ll just ease my way into things with a little love list because really? Who doesn’t like love lists? They make me happy.

Evan Lysacek – Omg, people I just love him!  I love his skating style, he’s freaking adorable and on Monday night my life got a little bit sweeter when I found out he’s going to be on Dancing with the Stars – my bet is he will be great!

My FAVORITE lotion OF ALL TIME is back!! I am not even exagerating when I say that this was the best news I got all last week lol. Bath & Body Works discontinued this magical stuff awhile ago and I tried to find some online but people who had a supply jacked the price up from $12 to $40 (b/c they KNEW how amazing it was and how stupid B&BW was to get rid of it!) You better believe I’ll be stocking up on these bad boys so that I have a nice supply before they discontinue it again!

The Office – The baby episode is on tomorrow night.  I’m so excited – there’s a 99.8% chance I will cry, lol. I’ve become quite emotional at things such as weddings and babies these days.  Kendra’s Baby Ep – bawled like a baby.

Speaking of The Office, this is My Lovey’s “Jim Face” hehe. Everytime I look at this pic, I fall a little more in love with him. It’s like we’re constantly in a contest of who can act goofier… and I wouldn’t have it any other way. One more shmoopy thought, I love that Uncle Kracker song, “Smile” and it ALWAYS makes me think of My Lovey and so that fact that they are using it on The Office commercials makes me soooo happy. The Office is our show. AND I said I wanted to find my Jim and I did! 🙂

Okay, I’m sorry… the shmoop is over I promise. Something else I’m loving? Four grad applications are totally complete! I’ve already been rejected to one school but it was my reach school so I got over it pretty quickly. Next week on Thurs and Friday are interview days at another school so keep your fingers crossed for me!

Lastly, I turn 25 on Monday! I dunno if I LOVE this per se but I do LOVE my weekend plans. I’m celebrating my birthday with my friends on Saturday night, then Sunday I am going to Atlantic City with Lovey to celebrate my bday & our 6 month anni and then we have Monday off together (which is my actual bday). Oh and also, College Roomie is coming to visit Fri-Sunday so I’m really pumped about that as well!

What are YOU loving these days? And p.s. I missed you!

6 Comments

Filed under All Things Listy, Boyfriend <3, Random Thoughts, The Good Stuff