Sometimes, I have to remind myself of this simple fact. Sometimes, I let the little stresses of life consume me. I feel my chest get tight and realize I am in fact barely breathing.
I had the interview days at one of my top choices for grad school on Thursday and Friday of last week. It went pretty well, I think. I’m not the best at interviewing but I don’t think I completely bombed it. I know I should feel relieved that the hard part is over. And I do. However, I also can’t kick the anxiety of analyzing everything I said and didn’t say during my SEVEN interviews over two days. I should find out by the end of the week if I will be offered an internship/formal invitation to join the program so on the up side, at least I don’t have to torture myself for too much longer.
However, it has been frustrating me that I have been having such a hard time unwinding from the stress of the interview days. I should feel satisfied that I accomplished what I set out to do – which was to try my very best. I did that, and to be honest, I even surprised myself a little. After the first interview, my nerves calmed down and the rest of the day seemed so much easier. I guess the reason I feel like I’m bad at interviewing is that I get myself too worked up and then I can’t think straight.
Anyways, I guess I just felt like I couldn’t shut my mind off, even during my relaxing weekend. All I could think about were the two days of interviews and learning about the program. Obsessing. I was definitely obsessing – and I wasn’t happy about it. I just can’t seem to fully kick that annoying hint of anxiety and nervousness.
I just keep trying to remind myself that it’s out of my hands. I’ve done my part, I tried my hardest and now all I can do is hope for the best. If I’m meant to go to this school it will work out. If I don’t get in, it will be okay too. And I just need to find peace in the fact that I went for it and did the best I could.