Category Archives: Drunken Shenanigans

I’m Da Bomb… or Maybe I’m Just Bombed

You know that moment?  The moment where you realize, oh holy hell, I’m really fucking shwasted…  That moment for me on Saturday night was when I literally fell into the wall when I got into the bathroom.  I literally toppled over and the wall had to catch me.  Banana and I looked at each other and I remember thinking this is not good... not good at allll…  That’s the moment I knew.

Molly told me she realized I was down for the count when I laid my head on the table of the bar… AT 10:30PM

“I looked over and your head was on the table and you said you were tired like you usual do at the end of the night….”

“Well Moll, it did in fact turn out to be the end of the night for me…”

I am nothing if not a damn good drunk texter… I actually correct my misspellings too..  I focus, I make sense… most of the time.  The message I sent to The Ex that night:

So drunk maced my friends leave cuz so opul


We took to train into the city and one of the girl’s made me a drink to have on the train.  Well, I guess it was strong and I chugged it like I was a girl of 18 in college again or something!  I’m an old woman of 24 now, I don’t know what the hell I was thinking.

Anyways, I’ll spare you ever detail of the night but I was only at the bar for an hour before I dragged Banana into the bathroom and was praying to the porcelain gods.  All the while telling Banana, MY BEST FRIEND, that I’m not usually like this… as if the girl who goes out with me all the time doesn’t already know that.

Anyways, it was funny the next day.. not so much that night.  Other than that thought, it was a great weekend.

Friday night saw some fireworks and went out for a couple beers after with some friends.

*     *     *     *     *

Random story from Friday night.  A good friend from high school, we’ll call him Pact was texting me all night wanting to meet up later that night.  A little back story (I’ll give you the full rundown later this week) we’ve been friends for 10 years and have never hooked up, however, there have always been some underlying feelings…  sometimes on my end and sometimes on his. 

Anyways, he has a girlfriend right now, but he was still hinting that this meetup would be more than platonic and that his g/f and him were pretty much done… I squashed that pretty quickly.  I don’t play that game.. if you have a girlfriend then you aren’t hooking up with me.  End of story.

Funny enough, later on that night I was at WaWa getting a snack with my sister and who do I run into… but Pact!  So random, considering I haven’t seen him in maybe a year and a half and the one night we are texting all night, we run into each other.  Of course I had to bust his chops and say he stalked me out. 🙂  He wanted to hang out later on but I was just too tired (by the time I got home it was like 2am).  Plus I was nervous that he would try some funny business.  But I did tell him we could get together once he is back from vacation in a week.  So we shall see.

Anyways, all in all, a pretty funny weekend.

Hope you all had a great 4th! 🙂



Filed under Drunken Shenanigans, I love my friends

Tidbit Tuesday

  • The stars all aligned for our spontaneous Myrtle Beach mini vacation. The weather was gorgeous, the water was the PERFECT temperature, the friend we were staying with had off from work most of the weekend and we hit practically no traffic on the way down or coming home. So very, very successful trip. 🙂  Seriously, I think everyone could benefit from more spontaneoous vaca’s in there life.
  • Perhaps, it is not southern Maryland that is the land of crazies, rather it is College Roomie and/or me who attracts them.  Because boy did we meet a couple of crazies while we were there.  There was the bellig 40 yr old man who literally was air guitaring on top of me at the bar.  He even kept bumping into me and instead of oh, I don’t know, backing up he just laughed and said “haahaaaa, I’m like totallyyy air guitaring on you.”  Then there was the crazy 40 yr old surfer type DANCING HIS ASS off.  Of course, he had to talk to us.  “Did you two win the cute friends award or something?  No?  Well then, maybe the best smile award.”  Gotta love it.  Capped the night off with CR laughing in a guys face when he tried to kiss her and his brother tickling my face and begging for my number.  Only, us.
  • Has anyone else ever been flipped the p symbol while driving?  Let me explain that… I was waiting to turn left at a light.  It was one of those times where I could have probably gone but I hesitated and decided to wait for a longer break in the traffic.  WELL, Mr. Road Rage behind me starts beeping at me and when I look in my rear view mirror I see him screaming and making some sort of symbol with his hands when I realize that he yelling “P U S S Y !!” and the symbol is suppose to be a vag.  Um, wow, get a grip, dude.  Has this ever happened to anyone else? lol
  • I’m going to Jack’s Mannequin & The Fray concert on Friday and I”m super excited.  It’s pretty much getting me through this week.
  • My mind has a tendency to wander back to this while I’m stuck in my freezing office and all I want is my toes to be back in the sand: 


Hope everyone’s week is off to a good start. 🙂


Filed under Drunken Shenanigans, I love my friends, This is my life, Vacation

The Cali Gays Just Love Me…

When I went out to LA a few weeks ago, my friends and I stayed with our gay guy friend, let’s name him Best Gay.  So, of course staying in West Hollywood with Best Gay we have to designate at least one night to the gay bars.  But first, let’s talk about what happened at the gay bars last year… this is one of those stories I feel like would only happen to me.

We were at a little gay bar in WeHo and upstairs they had beer pong set up (my kinda place).  I spot this really cute, blonde, surfer guy – total OC Cali boy playing beer pong.  I was mid thought of how hot he was and how I should flash a smile his way when I snapped back to reality and realize I am in fact in a gay bar.  So we are there for a few minutes when I walk by the pong table and Cali Boy steps in front of me to say hi. 

He’s starts making small talk and I’m not thinking anything of it because, well, I’m in a freaking gay bar, why would this boy be hitting on me?  Until…

“So, yea… I was just playing beer pong and I guess it reminded me of being in college.  Next thing I know I saw a cute girl and really wanted to hit on you.”

“Oh.. umm.. I thought.. umm”

“Well, I was in a frat at college and they all thought I was 100% straight.  I guess the peer pong reminded me of that and the next thing I know I saw you and wanted to hit on you.”

“Oh.. wow..” ::insert lots of giggles here because I didn’t know what to do::

“Ok, I’m about to go all Dr. Phil on you.  My best guys friends growing up turned out to be gay so I felt pressure from them to be gay.  I’m suppose to go meet them now at this crazy gay club down the street.  They all don’t understand why I don’t get a boyfriend already.  I did the guy thing for like two years and now, I don’t know.  I feel like it’s not what I want but then I won’t really fit in with them…”

Seriously, I have some magical force that attracts only the most CONFUSED guys (well, I’m pretty sure this was the only sexually confused guy… but in general all the guys who go after me are a ball of confusion about life)

So anyways, he proceeds to go on with his life story which was all pretty interesting.  Meanwhile Best Gay is trying desperately to flag me down and find out if this kid is gay or not.  I just kept saying “I’ll tell ya later!” 

Anyways, eventually we both moved on to other bars and that was that.  The night that a hot blond Cali Bi Guy hit on me at the gay bar and proceeded to tell me his life story.

*     *     *      *      * 

And the gay boy love continued this year.  We went to this crazy gay club where the go go boys wore little shorts and walked around on stilts, if that helps paint a picture of this place.  So me and Banana, decide we are tired of standing and sit our butts right on the subwoofer, which put us pretty much right in front of where a whole bunch of guys were dancing.

So one guy decides the subwoofer should be used as a stage.  I kept referring to him as the GoGo Boy Wannabe.  Anyways, so I moved down a little so he could dance but I was not getting off that speaker, the vibrations felt nice (as we told the boys) and it was a place to sit heh.

So anyways, during one of his dance breaks he asks me and Banana, “Did you girls come from the Britney (Spears) concert!?!?!”

“Ohh no, we didn’t.. haha”

“Oh, well you LOOK like you did! I went last night and tonight!” and shows us his bracelets from the show.

Before we could say another word our little GoGo was dancing again… with a drink in his hand.  I was wearing a dress and when GoGo got a little too crazy with the dance moves he spilt his drink on my leg.  So what’s a gay boy to do?

He screams “I’m so sorry!”  And before I knew what was happening he was licking up the drink off by leg.  I start screaming and then he gives my leg a little bite.  At this point, I really can’t decide whether to scream or laugh so I just do both.

And then you know what he did?  He got right in my face and in his most flamboyant voice he playfully said “Well, honey, now what did you expect coming here?”


Filed under Drunken Shenanigans, I love my friends, This is my life, Vacation

The One Where I Get a Little Sappy

You know what I think one of the very best feelings in the world is?  Real, true, gut wrenching laughter that comes straight from the soul.  There was plenty of that on Saturday night and I remember thinking that I wish I could just bottle up that feeling.  It doesn’t matter what was said or done to cause the laughter, hell a good portion of the night was spent laughing just because the girls had to end every sentence with  “and I had a great day in my pants.”  Boys make up silly rules during a game of Kings.

I don’t know if it’s my new (optimistic) view on life or maybe it was the fact that we were up at a college but life just felt lighter.  It felt more carefree, like before people were getting engaged and married and buying houses and working full time.  On Saturday night all I could think of was how lucky I was to have the friends I do and so lucky to have nights like that Saturday night.  And maybe it was the fear that those nights with ALL of my friends being together might be numbered.  Soon we’d start moving, getting married, having families and I just remember thinking, I want to cherish this time.

That night we went out to a lounge and danced our hearts out.  Everyone danced, even the boys.  And the best kind of dancing, the kind of dancing that can only occur when you are completely oblivious to the fact that people might be watching you.  Where you and your girlfriend twirl each other around without a care in the world.  And you sing at the top of your lungs and dance without feeling a bit self conscious.

I didn’t even notice who else was at the bar.  I just saw all my friends.  That might seem like a weird thing to say but a couple years ago when I used to go out, one of the main goals of the night was usually to find a guy.  Maybe just to make out with or maybe to get a date but I would run off with my partner in crime and find boys.  And while that was fun and there are some stories I wouldn’t trade for the world, that time has passed.  These days, I’ve realized

I’d rather spend my nights laughing with my friends and trying to bottle up that favorite feeling of mine.


Filed under Drunken Shenanigans, Here Comes the Sap, I love my friends, My Favorite Things, This is my life

A Smorgasbord of Information :)

Hello, lovahs.. how are you?  I actually just recovered this post from last night which I typed out twice and thought I lost both times.  In reality, the reason I couldn’t locate it in my drafts was because I went to create a new PAGE instead of a new POST… total blonde moment. 🙂

Anyways, right after I typed a sentence about how my Dad fixed my laptop, I lifted up my laptop only to hear.. CRACK…

Oh damn, the whole right side of the monitor part broke away from the keyboard (try to picture that for a minute, it’s NOT GOOD PEOPLE!)  I have it semi fixed now but ugh, just my luck.  I’m buying a new laptop and giving this one to my parents and Dad will NOT be pleased about this.

Anyways, hi, how are you?  It’s been awhile.

I am officially ending my bloggy hiatus.  At first I stopped writing when I was sort of dating Work Spouse, which was short lived.  Without going into detail right now, he ended up disappointing me like most guys do and it really did hit a nerve.  But I found myself not wanting to write about it.  I didn’t want to sound like a broken record complaining about my latest failed dating disaster.

So, I stopped writing and processed things on my own.

Which lead to where I’m at right now, which is content… no, better than content, I’m happy.  And I mean it.  I realized there are many things I need to work on before I’m ready to be in a relationship and so I’m focusing 100% on me and I gotta say, it feels pretty damn good.

You know what else feels good?  Sharing some tidbits so without further ado I’m bringing back Tidbit Tuesdays:

  • I’ve been battling with insomnia lately.  Actually, I went to California a week and a half ago and I think my body just never really adjusted back to East Coast time.  It’s super frustrating but LA was awesome!
  • I ran into Speidi on the street in Santa Monica!  I actually wanted to go up to the dastardly bastard with the flesh colored beard and tell him I thought he was a douche but I kept myself in check.  I bet some people really do things like that to them though.
  • My 14 yr old self’s dream came true when I found myself at the same bar as this guy…

  • Yes, that is my favorite member of NSYNC JC Chasez, heh.  However, my friends refused to allow me to go over and talk to him.  I should have just done it anyway!  Since when do I listen to them anyways.
  • Oh, which reminds me,  I also ran into Perez Hilton in AC about a month ago.  I’ve been quite the celebustalker, huh?  They told me not to talk to him either but I didn’t listen.  I moseyed on over to him and told him I read his blog all the time when I’m at work and I don’t feel like doing work… (shhh, its a secret)  Btw, Perez is awesome, he was so nice.
  • While in LA, I held a real Oscar (they are HEAVY!)  and met an Oscar winner.
  • I also had a gay man lick up his drink off my leg and then bite it.  I told Banana if I didn’t know better I would have thought he wanted me, heh.

Now, go on and share a tidbit or two with me!  I missed you guys!


Filed under Boys are Dumb, Drunken Shenanigans, This is my life, Tidbit Tuesday

Life. Love. Bullshit.

All I have to say is TGIF people… TGI freakin F!

The Meantime Man I alluded to happened to be M.. ya know, the one I threw shoes at that one time? Well, Saturday night I went out for his birthday and watched him try to make out with our manager, you know – the one who makes guys hate Valentine’s Day. She was all over him and she knew we were hooking up too.

I have to admit that I was already over the situation with Meantime Man anyway. In fact, it was the perfect out for me. I didn’t have to feel bad because trying to kiss my manager right in front of me and my friends is disrespectful and embarassing and thank you because now I don’t feel bad for breaking things off.

Oh and I ended ud up making out with Work Spouse again… I really don’t know how I feel about that situation. Well, actually I do. I just can’t talk about it right now. It makes me nervous and happy and confused and… we’ll talk about that another day.

Tuesday. My friend broke the news that The Ex was coming to Beerfest (this event in Atlantic City that I was really looking forward to) with his g/f and they were getting there own room.

The Ex…

is coming to Beerfest…

with his girlfriend…

and they’re getting there own room.

I’m pretty sure those lines repeated over and over in my head as if a bad dream.


She doesn’t even speak freakin English!


He would love that though, he knows I cannot control my jealousy or tears and I bet he’d love the shit out of that situation.

So anyways, I texted him and he said he probably isn’t going… whew. And I confirmed that his spanish chiquita is now his GIRLFRIEND.

That is ridiculous.

I know I know, this is old news.

But it’s one of those things that even when you’ve prepared yourself for it, you really are not ready when it happens.

I had three mini meltdowns at my desk at work that day – damn The Ex and my lack of sleep and my freakin surplus of emotions.

I’m all better now.

Oh, and Sunday is my birthday – yay! 🙂

Oh and don’t even get me started on The Bachelor. All I have to say is, there is no excuse for breaking up with a girl on national television… even if you’re “following your heart” and you “don’t want to live with regrets.”

I don’t know about you guys but all I’m hearing is blahhh blahhh blahh I’m a dirty tramp.


Filed under Boys are Dumb, Cubicle Life, Dating Stories, Drunken Shenanigans, Relationships, single life, The Ex, This is my life

Christmas Lovin’

Merry Christmas Eve loves!

First, super quick update on the boys, The Ex was at the party on Saturday and around 4am it turned to disaster –  DISASTER, anger, tears, totally not rehashing the story right now but it’s led me to a lot of thinking and he is officially cut – cut from MY life as much as possible.  I don’t want to be friends, it doesn’t work right now and I am absolutely done with the games.  I’ve said this before but I can’t do it anymore.  It’s a new year and time for a clean slate. 

There are more updates on boys but I’m saving that for another day.  Anyways, onto the Christmas stuff!

*     *     *     *     *

My Top 5 Favorite Christmas Movies:

  1. Holiday Inn *all time fave
  2. National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation
  3. Elf
  4. Love Actually
  5. Christmas Story / Muppet’s Christmas Carol

My Top 10 Favorite Holiday Songs:

  1. White Christmas – Bing Crosby
  2. Chipmunk Christmas Song
  3. Santa Claus is Comin to Town – Bruce Springsteen
  4. Blue Christmas – Elvis Presley
  5. Last Christmas – Wham
  6. Baby, It’s Cold Outside
  7. Do They Know It’s Christmas Time
  8. Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays – NSYNC
  9. My Only Wish This Year – Britney Spears
  10. All I Want for Christmas – Mariah Carey

My Top 5 Favorite Christmas Traditions

  1. Watching Holiday Inn every single year with my whole family
  2. Making a Gingerbread house
  3. Wearing Christmas PJ’s on Christmas Eve
  4. Grab Bag Game on Christmas Day where you can steal each others presents – my Gma is always so funny during it.
  5. Opening presents on Christmas morning with Christmas music blasting, sitting on the floor with my sister just like when we were kids. 🙂

Couple more random Christmas Tidbits:

  • I LOVE wrapping Christmas presents… LOVE.  But I am a perfectionist and it takes me forever! 🙂
  • I hate the Christmas Shoes song, so much!  It’s probably one of the only Christmas songs I don’t like.
  • Last year I asked for a Nintendo DS and this year I asked for a Wii… how old am I again?

Merry Christmas!  Feliz Navidad! Happy New Year!  Love you guys and hope your holidays are fabulous!



Filed under All Things Listy, Boys are Dumb, Christmas Goodies, Drunken Shenanigans, My Favorite Things, The Ex