Category Archives: I love my friends

I’m Da Bomb… or Maybe I’m Just Bombed

You know that moment?  The moment where you realize, oh holy hell, I’m really fucking shwasted…  That moment for me on Saturday night was when I literally fell into the wall when I got into the bathroom.  I literally toppled over and the wall had to catch me.  Banana and I looked at each other and I remember thinking this is not good... not good at allll…  That’s the moment I knew.

Molly told me she realized I was down for the count when I laid my head on the table of the bar… AT 10:30PM

“I looked over and your head was on the table and you said you were tired like you usual do at the end of the night….”

“Well Moll, it did in fact turn out to be the end of the night for me…”

I am nothing if not a damn good drunk texter… I actually correct my misspellings too..  I focus, I make sense… most of the time.  The message I sent to The Ex that night:

So drunk maced my friends leave cuz so opul


We took to train into the city and one of the girl’s made me a drink to have on the train.  Well, I guess it was strong and I chugged it like I was a girl of 18 in college again or something!  I’m an old woman of 24 now, I don’t know what the hell I was thinking.

Anyways, I’ll spare you ever detail of the night but I was only at the bar for an hour before I dragged Banana into the bathroom and was praying to the porcelain gods.  All the while telling Banana, MY BEST FRIEND, that I’m not usually like this… as if the girl who goes out with me all the time doesn’t already know that.

Anyways, it was funny the next day.. not so much that night.  Other than that thought, it was a great weekend.

Friday night saw some fireworks and went out for a couple beers after with some friends.

*     *     *     *     *

Random story from Friday night.  A good friend from high school, we’ll call him Pact was texting me all night wanting to meet up later that night.  A little back story (I’ll give you the full rundown later this week) we’ve been friends for 10 years and have never hooked up, however, there have always been some underlying feelings…  sometimes on my end and sometimes on his. 

Anyways, he has a girlfriend right now, but he was still hinting that this meetup would be more than platonic and that his g/f and him were pretty much done… I squashed that pretty quickly.  I don’t play that game.. if you have a girlfriend then you aren’t hooking up with me.  End of story.

Funny enough, later on that night I was at WaWa getting a snack with my sister and who do I run into… but Pact!  So random, considering I haven’t seen him in maybe a year and a half and the one night we are texting all night, we run into each other.  Of course I had to bust his chops and say he stalked me out. 🙂  He wanted to hang out later on but I was just too tired (by the time I got home it was like 2am).  Plus I was nervous that he would try some funny business.  But I did tell him we could get together once he is back from vacation in a week.  So we shall see.

Anyways, all in all, a pretty funny weekend.

Hope you all had a great 4th! 🙂



Filed under Drunken Shenanigans, I love my friends

Tidbit Tuesday

  • The stars all aligned for our spontaneous Myrtle Beach mini vacation. The weather was gorgeous, the water was the PERFECT temperature, the friend we were staying with had off from work most of the weekend and we hit practically no traffic on the way down or coming home. So very, very successful trip. 🙂  Seriously, I think everyone could benefit from more spontaneoous vaca’s in there life.
  • Perhaps, it is not southern Maryland that is the land of crazies, rather it is College Roomie and/or me who attracts them.  Because boy did we meet a couple of crazies while we were there.  There was the bellig 40 yr old man who literally was air guitaring on top of me at the bar.  He even kept bumping into me and instead of oh, I don’t know, backing up he just laughed and said “haahaaaa, I’m like totallyyy air guitaring on you.”  Then there was the crazy 40 yr old surfer type DANCING HIS ASS off.  Of course, he had to talk to us.  “Did you two win the cute friends award or something?  No?  Well then, maybe the best smile award.”  Gotta love it.  Capped the night off with CR laughing in a guys face when he tried to kiss her and his brother tickling my face and begging for my number.  Only, us.
  • Has anyone else ever been flipped the p symbol while driving?  Let me explain that… I was waiting to turn left at a light.  It was one of those times where I could have probably gone but I hesitated and decided to wait for a longer break in the traffic.  WELL, Mr. Road Rage behind me starts beeping at me and when I look in my rear view mirror I see him screaming and making some sort of symbol with his hands when I realize that he yelling “P U S S Y !!” and the symbol is suppose to be a vag.  Um, wow, get a grip, dude.  Has this ever happened to anyone else? lol
  • I’m going to Jack’s Mannequin & The Fray concert on Friday and I”m super excited.  It’s pretty much getting me through this week.
  • My mind has a tendency to wander back to this while I’m stuck in my freezing office and all I want is my toes to be back in the sand: 


Hope everyone’s week is off to a good start. 🙂


Filed under Drunken Shenanigans, I love my friends, This is my life, Vacation

The Cali Gays Just Love Me…

When I went out to LA a few weeks ago, my friends and I stayed with our gay guy friend, let’s name him Best Gay.  So, of course staying in West Hollywood with Best Gay we have to designate at least one night to the gay bars.  But first, let’s talk about what happened at the gay bars last year… this is one of those stories I feel like would only happen to me.

We were at a little gay bar in WeHo and upstairs they had beer pong set up (my kinda place).  I spot this really cute, blonde, surfer guy – total OC Cali boy playing beer pong.  I was mid thought of how hot he was and how I should flash a smile his way when I snapped back to reality and realize I am in fact in a gay bar.  So we are there for a few minutes when I walk by the pong table and Cali Boy steps in front of me to say hi. 

He’s starts making small talk and I’m not thinking anything of it because, well, I’m in a freaking gay bar, why would this boy be hitting on me?  Until…

“So, yea… I was just playing beer pong and I guess it reminded me of being in college.  Next thing I know I saw a cute girl and really wanted to hit on you.”

“Oh.. umm.. I thought.. umm”

“Well, I was in a frat at college and they all thought I was 100% straight.  I guess the peer pong reminded me of that and the next thing I know I saw you and wanted to hit on you.”

“Oh.. wow..” ::insert lots of giggles here because I didn’t know what to do::

“Ok, I’m about to go all Dr. Phil on you.  My best guys friends growing up turned out to be gay so I felt pressure from them to be gay.  I’m suppose to go meet them now at this crazy gay club down the street.  They all don’t understand why I don’t get a boyfriend already.  I did the guy thing for like two years and now, I don’t know.  I feel like it’s not what I want but then I won’t really fit in with them…”

Seriously, I have some magical force that attracts only the most CONFUSED guys (well, I’m pretty sure this was the only sexually confused guy… but in general all the guys who go after me are a ball of confusion about life)

So anyways, he proceeds to go on with his life story which was all pretty interesting.  Meanwhile Best Gay is trying desperately to flag me down and find out if this kid is gay or not.  I just kept saying “I’ll tell ya later!” 

Anyways, eventually we both moved on to other bars and that was that.  The night that a hot blond Cali Bi Guy hit on me at the gay bar and proceeded to tell me his life story.

*     *     *      *      * 

And the gay boy love continued this year.  We went to this crazy gay club where the go go boys wore little shorts and walked around on stilts, if that helps paint a picture of this place.  So me and Banana, decide we are tired of standing and sit our butts right on the subwoofer, which put us pretty much right in front of where a whole bunch of guys were dancing.

So one guy decides the subwoofer should be used as a stage.  I kept referring to him as the GoGo Boy Wannabe.  Anyways, so I moved down a little so he could dance but I was not getting off that speaker, the vibrations felt nice (as we told the boys) and it was a place to sit heh.

So anyways, during one of his dance breaks he asks me and Banana, “Did you girls come from the Britney (Spears) concert!?!?!”

“Ohh no, we didn’t.. haha”

“Oh, well you LOOK like you did! I went last night and tonight!” and shows us his bracelets from the show.

Before we could say another word our little GoGo was dancing again… with a drink in his hand.  I was wearing a dress and when GoGo got a little too crazy with the dance moves he spilt his drink on my leg.  So what’s a gay boy to do?

He screams “I’m so sorry!”  And before I knew what was happening he was licking up the drink off by leg.  I start screaming and then he gives my leg a little bite.  At this point, I really can’t decide whether to scream or laugh so I just do both.

And then you know what he did?  He got right in my face and in his most flamboyant voice he playfully said “Well, honey, now what did you expect coming here?”


Filed under Drunken Shenanigans, I love my friends, This is my life, Vacation

The One Where I Get a Little Sappy

You know what I think one of the very best feelings in the world is?  Real, true, gut wrenching laughter that comes straight from the soul.  There was plenty of that on Saturday night and I remember thinking that I wish I could just bottle up that feeling.  It doesn’t matter what was said or done to cause the laughter, hell a good portion of the night was spent laughing just because the girls had to end every sentence with  “and I had a great day in my pants.”  Boys make up silly rules during a game of Kings.

I don’t know if it’s my new (optimistic) view on life or maybe it was the fact that we were up at a college but life just felt lighter.  It felt more carefree, like before people were getting engaged and married and buying houses and working full time.  On Saturday night all I could think of was how lucky I was to have the friends I do and so lucky to have nights like that Saturday night.  And maybe it was the fear that those nights with ALL of my friends being together might be numbered.  Soon we’d start moving, getting married, having families and I just remember thinking, I want to cherish this time.

That night we went out to a lounge and danced our hearts out.  Everyone danced, even the boys.  And the best kind of dancing, the kind of dancing that can only occur when you are completely oblivious to the fact that people might be watching you.  Where you and your girlfriend twirl each other around without a care in the world.  And you sing at the top of your lungs and dance without feeling a bit self conscious.

I didn’t even notice who else was at the bar.  I just saw all my friends.  That might seem like a weird thing to say but a couple years ago when I used to go out, one of the main goals of the night was usually to find a guy.  Maybe just to make out with or maybe to get a date but I would run off with my partner in crime and find boys.  And while that was fun and there are some stories I wouldn’t trade for the world, that time has passed.  These days, I’ve realized

I’d rather spend my nights laughing with my friends and trying to bottle up that favorite feeling of mine.


Filed under Drunken Shenanigans, Here Comes the Sap, I love my friends, My Favorite Things, This is my life

My Life in Snippets

Another typical convo with CR.. in case you forgot, on occasion she likes to call me on my shit:

Me: “So this guy from the online site is suppose to call me tonight and I’m so nervous.  You know me, I’m not really a phone person!  It take so much energy.  Besides, I’m not a talker… I’m more of a listener…”

CR: haaaaaaaaaaaahahhaha”

Me: “What!?  I’m.. a listener..”

CR: “Okk LMO.. your not a talker.. whatever you say…”

Me:  “I don’t talk that much.. I mean…”

CR: “K”

Me: “Fine! Maybe with my best friends I talk a lot but not with strangers..”

CR: “Alright.. I guess I’ll give you that.”

*     *     *     *     *

Driving home from my friend, Banana’s house this weekend.  I’m in the middle lane on the turnpike, minding my own business.  I see a cop creeping around so I make sure not to go too fast… next thing I know I see the lights go on and I’m being pulled over.  What the fuck.

“License, registration and insurance ‘mam.”  I was already getting my things together.  “You’re not allowed to talk on your cell phone while driving anymore ‘mam.”  Yes, he kept calling me ‘mam.. I kind of hated it.

“Whaaaa? Yes, yes I know that… but I wasn’t on the phone!”

“I saw you with your hand to your ear…”  Apparently, driving with your elbow resting on the window and hand against your cheek is now breaking the law?

“Maybe I was playing with my hair!  I swear to God I wasn’t on the phone!!”

“Mam, I saw you…”

Oh and to make the situation even better I was charging my phone at the time so it was right there on the seat.  I did the only thing I could think of which was:

“I swearrrrrrrrrrrrrrr to you I wasn’t on the phone!! I’m sorry but I wasn’t… I SWEAR TO GOD.. I AM NOT LYING TO YOU!”

Clearly, he was not buying it at all.

“Please, look at my calls.. I haven’t had a single call today I don’t think!”

He picks up my phone… looks at my calls, looks at his watch…

“Well, either your smart and deleted it somehow or…. you weren’t on your phone.”

“I’m not lying I swear.. I’m a bad liar.”

He let me go.

*     *     *     *     *

As usual, Banana I attracted a real winner at the bar on Saturday night.  The first time he walked by us he started seranading us with whatever dance song was playing and then kept on walking.

Then next time he passed by, he stared at us and showed us his dance moves then continued walking.  Apparently, that was suppose to seduce us?

I think he was getting braver as the night went on.  The next time, he came up between us and slung an arm around each of our shoulders.. “helloo ladies” in a slurred voice.  Immediately I shoot a look to Banana that says why is this creeper touching us.  Unfortunately or well maybe fortunately, he noticed.  “Oh, excuseeeeeeeeeeee meeeeeee.. do you not want to talk to me? Whatever.”  and he walked away.  I would feel bad except I don’t like having my personal space invaded like that.

Hi, this is my life.


Filed under Boys are Dumb, I love my friends, single life, This is my life

Our Lives Can Change With Every Breath We Take…

Sometimes it scares me that life has the ability to change in less than a second. One minute my biggest problem is which pairs of shoes I should take on my vacation and the next minute, my biggest problem is my Mom making it through open heart surgery. Little bit of a difference there, huh?

Her surgery went well on Monday morning. I don’t think I’ve ever been quite so scared in my life. I know it’s a common surgery but it just sounds so scary – I mean it’s the heart, you don’t want to mess around with that. Since Monday, some of the anxiety has subsided but it’s still there. She’s getting better but not without some bumps on the way. After a surgery like that, your body is pretty much in shock but my mom is young and she is trying as hard as she can to recover as fast as possible.

It just has been taking an emotional and physical toll on me. I went back to work today and I could barely stay awake. Part of me wished I had taken the day off to get some sleep but I need to save my days in case she needs me when she gets home.

But let me rewind a minute back to Friday, when I was going back and forth on whether I should try to go on vacation still. My mom was pushing me to go, telling me she’d be upset if I missed it. But when it came down to it, I couldn’t leave her…or my sister… or my dad. I just kept thinking there will be other vacations, other cruises but I only have one Mom. I realized that if I went, I could really end up regretting going and then I’d be stuck on a boat for 8 days feeling guilty/upset/stressed. But I would NEVER regret staying because I would know that I had been there for my family. That’s when I knew for sure I wanted to stay. And I really haven’t had much time to be upset about it. I am 100% sure I made the right decision.

Right now, all I can be is grateful. Grateful that the surgery went well. Grateful that so far she has been recovering well. Grateful that she knew to go to the doctor when she did. Grateful that she has an amazing cardiologist who got her a great surgeon. Grateful that she could find out she needed this before something worse happened.

This story really begins back in June. One night she got sick, she was nauseous and she had a weird sensation in her chest. She thought she better go to her doctor and make sure everything was okay. Test after test, bloodwork after bloodwork, and then a final test and all was not okay. Three arteries were clogged. Her cardiologist performed angioplasty and stents were put into two of those arteries. It’s not a very invasive procedure and recovery was very quick. It scared me but in comparison it was nothing.

Four months went by and she was doing everything she was supposed to: taking her medicine, eating healthy (as she always did), exercising (again, as she always did) when out of nowhere on Thursday night, she said I need to go to the hospital NOW. When she had the angioplasty done, her doctor somehow blocked the artery so she could feel the sensation of the clogged artery and told her, “Remember this feeling. If you EVER feel this, you need to come to the hospital immediately. Do not wait to see me in the office.” So she remembered and she did not mess around.

When I spoke to her on that Thursday night while she was at the hospital, she said the feeling had subsided and her EKG had come back fine. She thought she would be going home that night or at least in the morning. We thought everything was fine but the next morning when they took her in for the test in which they can see the condition of the arteries, the stents they put in were clogged. Her heart disease was too aggressive and her only option was the triple bypass.

The crazy thing is my mom is one of the healthiest people I know. She eats so healthy, she exercises and she doesn’t smoke. But heart disease runs in her family. And I guess when it comes down to it, you can do everything right but if you have aggressive heart disease through genetics, you only have so much control over it.

This situation has made me realize how very important it is to LEARN the symptoms of a heart attack. The symptoms are different in men and women. My mom has never felt pain, it almost feels like indigestion. That’s why it is such a big killer of women, because they don’t expect it to be their heart and they wait too long to get help. So ladies and gents, learn the symptoms and if you EVER think you could be experiencing a heart attack do NOT chance it. Because if it IS a heart attack every single minute, even second counts.

And to all my readers who left me comments and well wishes and for those of you who kept my mom and my family in your prayers I thank you. I appreciate it more than you’ll ever know.


Filed under I love my friends, The Hard Stuff, This is my life

Southern Maryland – Land of the Crazies?

On Friday night, I was in Maryland visiting College Roomie and we were at her favorite bar in town.  We were sitting at the bar, deep in conversation about our boy drama when Guy Without a Clue walks up, stands behind us and turns out this gem:  “Hi.. so, I’m going to hit on you both right now because you’re both attractive.. equally attractive and I like you both…”

Cue the crickets.

“Um.. well… that’s.. an..interesting.. approach.”  I finally spit out trying not to laugh.  I mean that is just one of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever heard.  And it was really too early in the night for him to be so drunk he thought that would be a good approach. 

So he just stands there.. apparently, he thought SAYING he was going to hit on us, covered the actually hitting on us part.  Now CR and I are not ones to straight up be bitches to guys who talk to us.  I mean, a couple girls I’m friends with have zero tolerance for being hit on.  They will try to ignore them for a minute and then they go into full on bitch mode.  One night after a guy had worn out his welcome Cubie laid down the law and said, “OK! Here’s what’s going to happen.  I’m staying here with my girls and YOU are going to go back over there with your little friend.  OK?”  I kid you not, the guy looked at her and then looked back at me and my other friend and finally says, “Ok.  I’m gonna listen to you… but ONLY because you’re just so hot.”  He smiled and walked back to his friend.

But back to Friday night.  So he is just standing behind us, saying.. nothing.  So finally we get back to our conversation, thinking OK, he’ll get the point.  Next thing I know he manages to wiggle his way between me and CR.. I mean, literally fits himself between our bar stools.  He attempts to do some flirty butt dancing manuveur on me which is making me fall over the barstool but he does NOT stop.  He doesn’t even stop when I’m yelling that I’m about to face plant on the floor.  I would have fallen off if the 50 year old man on the other side of me was not there to hold me up… If I was in Jersey, whoever was next to me probably would have let me fall on my face.

So now, I am annoyed.  He then proceeds to ask for a kiss on the cheek.  “Um, no.. you almost sent me flying onto the floor, I’m not giving you a kiss.”  So he starts doing the butt thing that almost sends me flying off the stool.  I start yelling for him to stop and then he tells me it’s either a kiss on the cheek or else he’s not stopping.  Now, I am really flippin annoyed.  He says “FINE! I was going to hit on YOU because I think you’re pretty but NOW I’m gonna hit on your friend.” Aw, shucks..

So he’s trying to talk to CR but she is running out of patience,

CR: “Excuse me, but my friend came all the way from NJ to see me and we’re trying to catch up.” 

He scoots away from her a tad and sits in his chair.  I go back to telling the story about Bestest and her b/f breaking up. 

When GWaC leans onto CR and slurs, “OHHH, I know what she’s talkin about.” 

CR: “What? No you don’t? Get back in your seat!” 

GWaC: “Yes, she’s talking about the guy she’s rooting for.” 

CR: “What?  The guy she’s rooting for in life or in the football game?” 

GWaC: “In life.  Yea, she wanted him to get a touchdown but it was intercepted.” 

CR: “Wait, your just repeating what’s happening on the TV.  I thought she was rooting for the guy she wanted in LIFE.” 

GWaC: “She is.” 

Me: “Wait, so how was my touchdown intercepted?!” 

GWaC: “Ugh, it just was.. you like this guy but it was intecepted. ” 

Me: “What?”


Me: “Huh?” 


Me: “Wait, what?”  

Cue CR hysterically laughing and then whispering “OMG, you’re just trying to piss him off now aren’t you?!”  And now we’re both laughing, the kind of giggling that you just cannot stop. So GWaC is pissed and hating his life.  You would THINK that he would leave us alone now right? Yes, you would think. He doesn’t. It takes the bartenders help and a few other new friends we made to form a barracade between us and GWaC.  

But my favorite line of the night goes to CR’s favorite bartender:

CR:  “Hey so how was last night?”
Fave Bartender: “Good.. took a couple bong hits, went out for a little, went home and crashed…”
CR shakes head in disapproval.
Fave Bartenader looks at me: “She hates when I talk about taking bong hits… but I think it’s just because she wants the peen.”


Filed under Boys are Dumb, I love my friends, This is my life